In true Vikings tradition, the mid-season finale was a total bloodbath. Adding to the recent loss of Aethelwulf were the deaths of Torvi’s son Guthram, Bjorn’s kinky wife-type person, that brunette shieldmaiden (again), and Astrid and her baby. There were many emotional moments, but IMHO the most tragic was Halfdan’s death at the hands of Harald.
Hvitserk, Lagertha, and Torvi all had near-death experiences, maybe because they all kept spacing out in the middle of the fight. Hey guys! First rule of Vikings Fight Club: PAY ATTENTION TO THE FOLKS WITH THE SWORDS! Other casualties of the episode included the fragile peace in New Flokistan, Lagertha’s hair color, every last one of Magrethe’s marbles.
I loved this episode! (except for killing any chance of a Bjorn/Halfdan spin-off – you monsters!!!) The flashback structure was a fresh way to roll out the plot, and the alternating storylines kept the amazing fight scenes from becoming a blur. But how did this season stack up to the old world of Ragnar and Rollo?
I’ll just put this here for comparison’s sake. #science
Now that we’ve got half a season of Ragnar-less show under our belts, we thought it would great time to check in with some of our longtime That’s Normal Vikings fanatics, and get their thoughts on how it played out. Without further ado, here are Jamie, Leslie, Mollie, Patricia, and me with the:
Vikings Season 5 Finale Fan Panel Extravaganza!!
Take it away, ladies!
Fave couple: Lagertha & Heahmund, Bjorn & kinky wife-type , Harald & Astrid, or Bjorn & Halfdan?
Katy: I really want to say Lagertha & Heahmund because it is the ship I never even knew I wanted, but Bjorn & Haldan ultimately stole my heart with their hilarious banter.
Jamie: Can we have a show just about Bjorn & Halfdan? Pretty please! I love the dynamic between those two so much. I agree about Heahgertha! I jumped aboard that ship the moment Heahmund became smitten on the battlefield while Lagertha was covered in sweat and blood. I need more action between those two. Need it!!
Katy: Seriously. A show where Bjorn and Halfdan get run out of town after town in the Mediterranean after bungling whatever cockamamie scheme they’ve attempted? Would watch!
Patricia: I need a buddy road trip, er, longboat trip comedy spin off with Bjorn and Halfdan.
Mollie: I’m jumping on the Good Ship Lagerthmund/Heahgertha and never looking back. While watching I was suddenly overcome with a major case of “hearteyes” and said, “Awww he’s her Athelstan.”
Still the cutest
Ivar in Ragnar’s shoes: perfect fit, or blister factory?
Katy: On paper, Ivar seems like the perfect Ragnar replacement: driven, vulnerable, brutal. But, he has no joy. He has no goals beyond destruction, and it just isn’t gripping me. Alex Hogh Andersen is amazing, I hope he gets a few more facets next season. That said, I miss the fuck out of Ragnar.
Patricia: I miss Ivar’s vulnerable side because it was such a contrast to his bloodlust. Ivar has become a one dimensional killer this season and I am having a hard time caring about it. Also, I second missing Ragnar. Even though he made many questionable decisions, *cough Yidu cough*, I still was cheering him on.
Jamie: I agree 100% with both of you. There’s only one side to Ivar and it’s boring. I miss Ragnar so much! Every time I see him in the opening credits I feel a twinge of pain in my heart (I’m so dramatic) and then I’m irritated that he’s dead and that they still have him the credits. Haha!
Mollie: I agree with all of you. Ivar is a snooze fest. Bloodlust can only get you so far. He’s smart and crafty and damn good at what he does but what else is there? I wish he cared about something other than waging revenge. He needs to get a dog or something.
Leslie: He needs to get a dog is right … or a bone …. Ivar the can’t bone-less.
Ba dum tse!
Should “Floki’s Flock” get its own spinoff?
Katy: I’m still pulling for a Survivor-type deal, with challenges and kicking people out.
Leslie: I think it should be a Skarsgard Family Survivor that includes Alexander, Gustaf, the weird dad, Bill…. nope-just Alexander.
Katy: Maybe they compete against other brother clans (Hemsworths) in things like “buff-offs” and whatever gloriousness this is:
Alexander Skarsgard giving you Laura Dern/ Farrah Fawcett/ 3 AM on the Las Vegas Strip Drag pic.twitter.com/KiMvj9Zlhx
— The NYC Film Chick ??♀️ (@TheNYCFilmChick) January 22, 2018
Patricia: Floki gives me life.
Jamie: I love Floki! He’s been a favorite of mine since the beginning. But I kinda feel like there’s not much more they can do with his storyline. I could be down with Leslie’s idea of Skarsgard Family Survivor show. Haha!
Mollie: I love Floki too but it feels like we’re watching a completely separate show now. The events taking place on God Island has nothing to do with the other storyline lines. If it was a spinoff, I’d watch but other than that, it’d kind of a snoozefest.
Katy: “God Island” Snort! I’m weirdly realizing that the Flokistan plotline has been almost identical to The Good Place story arc. Group goes to their version of “heaven,” only to have it turn into hell because: people. Sidenote: I would kill to see a scene between Floki and fake Eleanor!
Floki: We must build a temple to Thor.
Fake Eleanor: Since you’re so horny for Thor, why don’t you just marry him!
Magrethe: Worst or the Worstest?
Jamie: It’d be cool to see Magrethe get a blood eagle, but she’s not worthy of that kind of death. Honestly I don’t care how she dies, I just want her dead. Me, every time she comes on the screen:
Katy: I have hated her since day one. Her whole story line has been vile. Sexy time slave, brother threesomes, Lagertha nemesis – ugh! I know everyone thinks it’s amazing that Michael Hirst writes every single episode, but when characters like Magrethe (cough Yidu cough [again]) pop up I feel like he really needs someone to tell him “no” every once in a while.
Patricia: She is completely useless.
Mollie: She’s terrible!!! Everything about her is awful and I want to punch her in and around her stupid face.
Katy: She makes me miss TF out of Kwenthrith. Now that was some quality cray!!
The Mediterranean diversion – Bjorntastic or bust?
Katy: While I loved Bjorn’s excursion.to the exotic southlands, what was the deal with him popping back to Kattegatt all the time? It’s not like he can just hop on some kind of Odinsjet for a quick jaunt, ‘cuz it was kind of like going to the moon back then. And why did he skedaddle after just one person tried to kill him? That’s quitter talk as far as I’m concerned. He should have held out until at least a dozen attempts on his life.
Patricia: I was expecting a lot more from that journey. More struggle. More raiding. But was left unsatisfied.
Jamie: The best thing and probably the only good thing to come out of that storyline was Bjorn and Halfdan developing a better and stronger friendship.
Mollie: I think is was a bust. I really thought his journey would take at least the whole season if not some of the next. I don’t understand the point of the whole journey if he was gonna leave after one near death experience. And yeah, how did he get back so quickly? And he just happened to show back up right when everyone else has gotten their boats in a row to go fight? I call shenanigans.
Annnnnnnnd, where the hell is Rollo already?
Katy: In an interview with The Wrap, Clive Standen said, and I quote: “I have gone back to season 5… I filmed some episodes and there’s far more of Rollo to enjoy in the next season.” HELLO?!!!!! Was this some kind of weird PR strategy to keep us hanging on in the vain hope he’d show? At this point, I don’t even want to see him if just shows up for quickie in the finale.
Okay fine. Yes I do still want to see him. Very, very badly.
Leslie: I would take a snippet of Clive just to liven things up- the sarcastic and clever back and forth between Rollo and Ragnar is truly missing this season. This season’s characters seem flat and one dimensional. Countdown to Clive …. maybe Travis is a snake charmer?
Katy: You guys!!!! I have the solution: Travis comes back as Ragnar’s long-lost twin (“Schmagnar”?) to lay claim as rightful heir to Ragnar’s empire!!! I’m putting the petition up on Change.org right now.
Patricia: I don’t care what happened in history if Clive Standen’s Rollo does not get an epic warrior death after a lustful reunion with his one true love Lagertha, I will riot!!! Duke Rollo needs to shed some of those French fineries and embrace his inner berserker one last time.
Jamie: I don’t like Rollo. Never have. I know I’m in this camp alone, but I was glad he didn’t show up in the last episode. When he does finally reappear, I hope his death follows soon after. Sorry, not sorry.
Katy: We will have words, Jamie. WORDS. *shakes fist* JK! He’s a pig, but he’s our pig. We’re a little Clive Standen-addled.
Mollie: Y’all I know what happened. Rollo, while out for a walk in the French countryside, stumbles across an ancient stone circle. He travels forward in time, loses all of his memories, becomes a CIA operative named Bryan and saves a bunch of people. While on assignment in France, Bryan/Rollo comes across the same ancient stone circle and is flung back to his original life, just in time to show up for the second half of season five. No? Okay. I tried.
Never stop trying, Mollie.
Katy: Actually more interesting than anything he did last season.
Jamie: Bring it, Katy! Haha! As much as this hurts to say, it might be nice to see him and have him shake things up a bit. Mollie, that works for me!
Katy: FYI here is actual footage of Rollo showing up in the honest-to-gods LAST MOTHERFORKING MINUTE of the finale:
Some Season 5B Predictions:
- Rollo get called back to France for “responsibilities” before he even reaches Kattegatt
- Having cycled through every female character, Bjorn realizes that Judith’s been the one for him all along.
- Magrethe dies horribly
- When we next see King Alfred, he will have transformed into a brawny buccaneer protecting the shores of Wessex with his new Navy fleet.
- Ivar finally get that puppy he’s been longing for and retire from his life of murdering.
Well, there you have it – it’s a wrap on season 5A! Tune in for 5B to see if any of our prediction came true! Until then, give a follow to our panel: Leslie, Jamie, Mollie, and Patricia! And, as always: