O.M.G. Do I have to do everything myself?
It doesn’t take Miss Marple to figure out that Helga was involved in Floki’s great escape, but Ragnar surprises us by being very understanding about the position Helga has been put in. Up to this point, these two have not had much of a relationship, and I recently was on a call with Maude Hirst in which she was asked about the evolution of Ragnar and Helga’s relationship:
. . . their two characters, they have a real love for Floki, and they’re the only two people I think that could understand the love for him, and so I think they bond over this understanding. . . he understands what I’ve been through, really, more than any of the other characters because he sees Floki’s whole journey as well, they have a real male love . . . “
There is a lot of talk about Floki and his mental state, but my interpretation of his crazy is that Floki is desperately trying to hold on to a traditional lifestyle and faith in the wake of Ragnar’s more “modern” values. That divergence gets driven home when Floki is eventually caught and brought before Ragnar, who doesn’t treat him to a proper Viking punishment, but instead banishes him to rot in a cave suspended like Christ on the cross.
Apropos of nothing, I would also like to take a moment to remind everyone that under this slightly psychotic, bald-headed, grumpy-pants still lies a beautiful, beautiful man.
Kill the Queen
Wessex is back! King Ecbert has sent Aethelwulf to rescue Queen Kwenthrith from a band of Mercian nobles who perpetrated a coup against her and imprisoned her and her son. Ecbert’s concern appears to be for the cohesion of his empire, but his insistence that baby Magnus be saved at any cost makes me think he has other motives. I’m guessing Magnus is his, but there was so much scrumping happening around Wessex last season it’s hard to know for sure.
Actual footage from 9th century Wessex
Aethelwulf breaks through Kwenthrith’s security detail and saves her, but not before we got a taste of Kwenthrith-brand crazy-eyes.
Yassss! Let it all hang out, Kwennie!
Honestly Ragnar, I don’t know how you let this one get away- she’s a charmer!
But which queen?
Kwenthrith is not the only one who has some pent-up rage to express. Floki just will not admit to Ragnar that killing Athelstan was wrong, and that is just making him so.freaking.mad. Queen Aslaug comes to Floki’s defense – I mean, he only killed a Christian – at which point Ragnar pulls out a can of whoop-ass on his own wife. BASTARD.
Patrick Stewart would like you to turn in your “He 4 She” tunic immediately
Not only is Ragnar basically guessing at Aslaug’s betrayal, but he hasn’t even brought it up with her, forcing her to guess WTF is going on (see: dick move). My first thought was the the title of the episode (Kill the Queen) referred to the orders called out by a dying Mercian guard to dispatch Kwenthrith, but Ragnar’s venom toward Aslaug for her betrayal makes me think Kwenthrith is not the only Queen in danger around here . . .
PS This whole interaction between Ragnar and Aslaug makes me seriously miss Lagertha, because this:
Check and mate Lagertha.
Little lord Fauntle-Rollo
Meanwhile in Frankia, Rollo looks like this:
Hahahahahahaha! Good luck with that audition for the European tour of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat!
I can’t remember, does “looking like a prissy pants” automatically gain you admittance to Valhalla? I’ll have to check my lore . . .
Rounding out our trifecta of “(future) queens in danger” is Princess Gisla. No, not because Rollo sets her adrift on the Seine for laughing at his new-found fabulous, but because of a plot against Count Odo of the unholy appetites, by some members of the court. As I don’t know the names of these characters, I can’t be bothered to listen to their yammering, and, as a result, do not have a solid grasp of their plans. I’ll keep you apprised of any changes to my name-knowing status.
Tell me about it
Bjorn to be wild, part II
And lastly, let’s check in with Bjorn in the outback. Bjorn, can you tell us how your visionquest is going?
You certainly are. We’ll check back in with you next week for further meteorological developments. (And for the love of gods, put a hat on!)
See you all next week! Until then, we still have some burning questions:
Why is Ecbert being so nice to Judith? How heartbreaking was it when you realized that Judith doesn’t know that Athelstan is dead? Will Judith be disappointed when she learns the church is right, and you can’t illuminate a sacred text with no penis to hold the paintbroush? Doesn’t Rollo know that Brazilian Blowouts are the gateway style to home perms? Was Angboda’s sudden death sad or weird?
All Vikings images are courtesy of the History Channel.