There’s only one episode of Bachelor in Paradise remaining which means it’s time for everyone who was only there for followers to leave. Just kidding everyone on this show is only there for followers. What I should have said is, it’s time for everyone who didn’t accidentally fall in love while padding their following to leave.
Time to watch it burn.
Here are where all of the relationships stand going into the finale of Paradise next week
Dean + Caelynn
Dean and Caelynn have the classic Paradise love story. Girl falls for boy despite him repeatedly telling her he’s a bad boyfriend. Boy abandons her on the beach. Girl dates someone new. Boy comes back and asks her to leave the show to travel the world in his van with him. Girl does it because not even love is blind to the boy’s incredibly blue eyes. Reader, I cried. Real tears. Dean and Caelynn, you can park your car in my driveway and steal my WIFI any time.
My reaction.
Katie + Chris
It only took one glance into Katie’s mesmerizing eyes for Bachelor elder, Chris to make an early connection with her in Paradise, but they kept getting in their own way. When their feelings started to become real, Katie got scared and pushed Chris to date other women. She immediately regretted it, but it was still enough to make Chris question how serious she was about him. Since that point they’ve been focused on each other, but their walls are still up. When it came time to make a decision about continuing on to fantasy suites and a potential engagement Chris basically broke up with her. But Katie was like, “nah, you’re being stupid.” So they’re still together and will probably get married and have gorgeous babies.
My reaction.
Kristian + Demi
After Demi dumped John Krasinski lookalike, Derek, she came out as sexually fluid and introduced Bachelor Nation to its first same-sex relationship. Her true romance began when her non-bachelor affiliated girlfriend, Kristian, crashed paradise. However, the biggest transition as a viewer hasn’t been seeing Demi with a woman. It has been seeing her insecurities and fear of judgement come out. She has been vulnerable and scared, but also so incredibly brave. At the end of this week in Paradise, Demi chose to stay and face the fear of being judged by the world. With a partner like Kristian, she won’t have to face it alone.
My reaction.
Clay + Nicole
Clay joined Paradise fresh off a recent break-up with Bachelor alum, Angela. But it didn’t take long for the soft spoken behemoth to fall for Miami firecracker, Nicole. Their relationship had a quick detour involving a brawl over a pinata, but not even the reappearance of ex-Angela in Paradise could stop the progression of their relationship. Nicole and Clay are staying in Paradise until the end although I can’t tell if it’s because Clay wants to or because he’s scared of what Nicole will do to him if he breaks things off.
My reaction.
Hannah + Dylan
I haven’t even started writing Hannah and Dylan’s love story and I’m already bored. Just like everyone at Stagecoach, Hannah came to Paradise with the very poorly thought out plan to date Blake. Then she found out that Blake slept with most of her friends. That still wasn’t a deal-breaker, but everyone talked her into giving Dylan a chance. Meanwhile, Dylan was hanging around like a puppy dog begging to be pet so she talked herself into liking him. Suddenly they were mutually obsessed with one another and it was kinda cute? I don’t know, his shorn chest hair distracts me. I expect an engagement for these two next week.
My reaction.
Tayshia + John Paul Jones
I’m convinced there has ever been a couple less suited for one another than Tayshia and John Paul Jones. But they laugh so much together that it just worked. When he wasn’t picking unnecessary fights with Derek, JPJ was reciting Shakespeare, catching fish out of the ocean with his bare hands, and planning a prom for Tayshia who never attended one in high school. He’s goofy, she’s smart, and they were the perfect summer fling. Until they weren’t. With a potential engagement on the table, Tayshia broke up with JPJ and then sobbed in the limo with what appeared to be regret.
My reaction.
In Memorium
- Connor and Whitney’s vans passing on the road
- Blake’s reputation
- Kristina’s revenge plan
- Chase’s relationship with Tomi Lahren
- Angela’s last attempt to get back together with Clay
- Matt Donald’s mom’s opinion of him
- Chris Harrison asking a silent room if anyone wanted a rose from Luke S.
Next week we’ll find out who is engaged and who hates each other on the After Show. Chances are they’ll also announce who the next Bachelor will be so stay tuned. After that it’ll be a long sad break until January when Chris Harrison comes back to make our winter a little more dramatic. I already can’t wait. Who do you think will still be together on the after show next week? Who is your pick for Bachelor? I want Mike, but I think it’ll be Pilot Peter. Let’s talk in the comments!
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