The other morning as I brushed my teeth in while the skylight that unfortunately resides in my bathroom ceiling fried me like an ant under a magnifying glass I thought to myself, “I really hate summer.” Immediately afterwards I ventured out into the hallway, where an enormous moth was hanging out on the wall after somehow getting into the house, I thought to myself, “Yeah. Summer freaking sucks.”
This isn’t the first time I’ve bemoaned Satan’s Season and it won’t be the last, because I’m nothing if for a complainer. This year in particular has really done me in. The one and only thing I like about this time of year is going to the beach, but I haven’t even been able to do that so far. In my neck of the woods, it’s either been so rainy and stormy or so ridiculously hot and humid that you can’t be outside for more than ten minutes without choking on the air. So, there’s that. And while I’m happy for the people who love this weather, that’s a lie and I’m not happy for you at all.
I know that I’m not alone, and to my fellow lovers of all things autumn, I’m here to remind you that the most wonderful time of the year is almost upon us. Because they must know that summer is trash, BBC America aired The Addams Family and Addams Family values over the weekend, and it really got me in that Fall spirit. There’s not that much longer to wait until the nights are crisp and the leaves are crunchy and all is right in the world again.
I would be at my most powerful while sitting on that forest bench.
You will be able to walk down this path and actually enjoy it because you won’t be covered in sweat after 45 seconds. REJOICE.
I don’t know what beverage that is and I don’t care because I know it’s warm which means it’s cool outside. I don’t even like pumpkin spice lattes, but I’d suck one down right now if it mean it could be fallI want something mulled or spiced pronto. I want to be able to take a deep inhale of fresh air and not worry that I’m going to accidentally swallow a bug.
Bring on the spookiness.
So many gourds. An abundance of gourds. Gourds galore.
AUTUMN IS COMING! We can do it. Only a few short weeks left until those delightful months that end in -ber.