So dust off the blender you bought two years ago to make kale smoothies when that was a thing, and prepare yourself for my four excellent frozen drink alternatives to frosé. And yes, I theme named my frozen drinks! Doesn’t everyone do that?
Likeable right away. Seems innocuous and good to you as you drink it. You trust it the entire time. But the next morning you realize it was always leading you to the slaughter.
- 4oz vodka*
- 2oz citrus juice (orange, grapefruit, tangerine, whatever you want)
- 6-10 frozen strawberries (depending on how big they are)
- 1 fresh banana
Put everything in the blender and blend. Makes about 11 ounces.
Thick, smooth and delicious. The antioxidants from the berries make it a surprisingly healthy choice while the chocolate flavored vodka adds a certain richness to the flavor profile that’s unmistakably delightful. Fit for a king, or his kickass sister…
- 2 oz vodka
- 2 oz whipped chocolate flavored vodka
- 3/4 cup frozen mixed berries (blackberries are the key here)
- 1 fresh banana
- A bit of ice as needed
Put everything in the blender and blend. Makes about 10 ounces.
Pull out your fainting chairs for this ode to The National and their mysterious drink name in this song. This is basically just a frozen paloma. If you don’t want it spicy (why though?), don’t add the jalapeño.
- 4 oz tequila (I prefer blanco but you do you)
- 3 oz grapefruit juice
- 6-10 frozen strawberries
- a few slices of jalapeno, seeded then muddled in a dash of simple syrup (sub water)
- ice as needed to thicken
Blend them all together and enjoy! Makes about 15 ounces.
The Napoleon Solo
Sure, this is just a frozen bellini using prosecco, but it harkens you back to the moment when Napoleon Solo enjoyed a sandwich whilst his Russian partner failed in his own chase scene escape. The classic song on the radio is playing and you can almost see Henry Cavill’s face as you sip on this frozen delight.
- prosecco (see below)
- 2 oz water
- 1 cup frozen peaches
- 1/2 oz simple syrup
- ice as needed
Blend the above, pour a bit into a glass, and top with prosecco carefully (it gets quite fizzy!). Makes as much as your pour of prosecco dictates.
And in case you forgot this scene:
*pro tip: the higher shelf booze you use, the less crappy your hangover