Stick with me for a minute and hopefully, I’ll make it worth your while.
I have been with my husband for eight years. At some point or other, I think we both knew we were going to get married eventually (even if we vehemently denied it to other people). We got married in October of 2018 and ’twas a GLORIOUS day!
You can go and find a million websites and blogs and articles and on and on about how hard it is to plan a wedding. I’m a very logistical person and I got a wedding planner, so that didn’t phase me as much. It was all the things they DIDN’T write articles about that go me. So here are some things I wish I knew before my wedding day came around.
IT’S OK TO NOT HAVE IT ALL PLANNED OUT
I apparently missed the memo where I was supposed to have my whole wedding planned out since childhood. I didn’t have a Pinterest board of my colors and my flowers and mason jar DIY favors and the shoes I wanted to wear.
So upon actually planning the wedding, I immediately freaked out and convinced myself I was totally weird and behind. Even though it was my wedding – so how can I be behind? My fiancé gently reminded me that it would all get done, and I was also really lucky that he wanted to be super involved in the planning.
Don’t flip out if you have no clue what you want your wedding to be, or look like, or where you want it. You’ll figure it out.
Also, take Pinterest breaks. That website can get intimidating REALLY quick.
NO, I DIDN’T OK? I pretended I was Princess Leia. A LOT.
STAND. UP. STRAIGHT.
I know I have bad posture. All those dance lessons of my youth have been negated by working at a desk and other millennial problems. But never have I regretted my posture more than when my wedding photos came back.
My mother is horrified at my posture right now.
Source: Katie Figura Photography
Nice photo! Would have been nicer if I WAS STANDING UP STRAIGHT. Damn, you, poor posture. Make your photos like 10% nicer and stand up straight.
THERE IS A REASON WE DON’T WEAR VEILS EVERY DAY, PEOPLE
I’ll just say it: veils are really weird. Having a tiny sheet attached to your head is not an experience I really want to have again. The veil was pretty and made me feel very bridal but it gets stuck in EVERYTHING. Especially if people go to hug you, they pull on your veil and your head goes back. Do not underestimate what a pain veils are – props to you if you choose a cathedral length, Princess Diana style veil, cause that is gonna be an endeavor.
Me after 15 minutes in my veil
PLAYERS GONNA PLAY, WEDDINGS GONNA WED
I don’t care how much you plan, and how on top of things you are – unexpected things are gonna happen. Get on board. Enjoy it if you can and ride the wave. The next day you’ll hopefully be laughing about it. There are just things you can’t plan for. AND YES, every other wedding blog will give you the same advice – BECAUSE IT IS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD LISTEN.
Case in point – my husband and I spent two months learning and practicing our first dance. My husband is not a dancer. At all. The dance was to “Shut Up and Dance With Me” by Walk The Moon. It was a big endeavor for him and we put a lot of work into it – like, two months worth of lessons with an actual choreographer.
During the second eight count, I slipped on the back of my dress and fell directly on my ass.
Fortunately, the husband pulled me up and we finished the dance. Was I embarrassed? YEP! Did I let it stop me from partying and enjoying the rest of the night? NOPE!
Also, it gave me one of my favorite photos from the wedding. This is now blown up and framed in my living room.
Please help, I have fallen and I can’t get up.
Source: Katie Figura Photography
Listen, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Have the best day you can, no matter what happens.
OH, YOU DIDN’T LIKE MY WEDDING? GREAT. SHUT UP.
At some point after your nuptials, people’s opinions and criticisms re: your wedding are going to make themselves known. Sometimes this will take a passive-aggressive approach – “I would NEVER wear a dress that big, but you looked great!”, “I wouldn’t do a buffet, but yours was delicious!”. Others will take a direct approach, which is generally easier to deal with – “Your wedding was hot/cold/boring/long/too short/too religious/not religious enough,” “insert perceived slight here happened and I couldn’t believe it!”
It can make you feel like absolute and utter crap. Hopefully, your wedding was one of the best days of your life. You probably DIY’d and tasted cakes and generally put some hard work, money, and serious thought into your wedding. And here is someone making you feel bad about it, whether inadvertently or on purpose.
“Oh…yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking, having mac & cheese, my favorite food, at the wedding…”
If this happens to you, remember two things.
- YOU MADE THESE DECISIONS FOR A REASON. Maybe you decided to do a buffet for cost-effectiveness. Maybe you wanted to wear sneakers because your feet hurt, or throw out the traditional bridesmaids and have your dog standing at the altar with you. Whatever the reasons are, make like the Titanic and never let them go. Keep them in your mind. Write them down if you have to. So when people come at you and criticize your calls, you’ll know why you made them and you can own them. Sometimes that’s enough. If it’s not, move on to #2…
- BE PETTY AF IF YOU NEED TO. If this person isn’t someone you need to keep a relationship with, or is just harping on and on at you, you have my full permission to turn on the snark and the passive aggression (or have a trusted friend/relative do it for you).
“Oh, Aunt Margaret, I didn’t know the wedding was so awful! I’m so sorry you had to endure the celebration of me committing to the love of my life.
“Ok, clearly, since you hated my wedding so much, we are just gonna pretend it never happened. I don’t want to hear about it again. Got it?”