I was less than 10 yards away from Jason Momoa, and I have photographic proof.
Can you be sexually attracted to a man who tucks his chinos into his boots? If that man is Jason Momoa, yes you can.
Earlier this week, we broke down our Saturday Comic Con shenanigans, and yes, Warner Bros. weighed heavily in our Saturday schedule. It was no surprise to any of us that Aquaman would be this year’s WB closer, and although he wasn’t armed with a trident this year, his dramatic entrance and enthusiasm had us all screaming (okay…me) for more Momoa.
Just a friendly reminder that I was this close to Jason Momoa, and that Nicole Kidman has the worst fake laugh.
While our first viewing of the trailer was somewhat underwhelming, all of us ladies agreed that Jason Momoa has successfully taken one of the most tedious superheroes from this…
…to this shirtless god. AMEN.
It’s been a week since we left SDCC18, and now that my feet aren’t killing me, I’ve weaned myself off Auntie Anne’s pretzels, and I’m not capturing real life in slo motion, I decided to rewatch the Aquaman trailer and give you my deep thoughts. Spoiler alert: I’m going to definitely drone on about Jason Momoa’s body.
20 Thoughts I Had While Watching the Aquaman Trailer
- “My father was a lighthouse keeper. My mother was a queen.” I swear a there’s a Counting Crows’ song that starts this exact same way. #AugustAndEverythingAfter
- Wait a minute. Some bully slams little Arthur against the aquarium and no one stops him? I swear, at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, if you even so much as breathe on the glass, a guide is on your ass.
- Is anyone else concerned that if that glass continues to break, all those sea creatures will die? Not cool.
- Sweet baby Jesus. I’ve never lusted over back muscles in such a visceral way until NOW.
- “Permission to come aboard?” I think I just orgasmed.
- Someone visited the Bibbidi Boobbidi Boutique in Disneyland and asked for the deluxe Ariel package.
- Jason Momoa is the only man who could look intimidating while rocking multiple rings, and not look like a defcon creeper.
- “You do your best thinking when you’re not thinking at all.” If you’re to save the world, I hope that you would put some thought into. Just some.
- Is it just me who thinks that Atlantis looks like the Snorks’ home?
- Aquaman and his brother just crossed tridents. That’s some kinky underwater shit right there, and I’m here for it.
- I’m thoroughly convinced that Patrick Wilson is a wizard who will never age.
- If the fight scene between Jason and Patrick includes shirtless wrestling in slow motion, I wouldn’t reject it. I’d celebrate it.
- Pretty certain that if I were to hug Jason Momoa, it would be that slightly creepy hug where one person lets go and the other person holds on and just purrs. I’ll let you guess which person I’d be.
- An adequate representation of the fight for SDCC badges.
- If Pantene ProV does not sponsor this film, missed opportunity.
- Is she going to show him her collection of gadgets and gizmos aplenty? Perhaps her whozits and whatzits galore?
- If you’re wondering what happened to Bruce, Anchor, and Chum from Finding Nemo, I think we found the answer.
- Well, domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.
- That war scene is going to be long and will have fish guts, I just know it. Disgusting.
- Yes, Jason Momoa jumped out of plane like a bad ass, but did anyone else worry about the goat? No? Whatever, heathens.