The trouble with bingeing a show you love is that you are left bereft once you’ve consumed it all. I miss the dulcet tones of Elizabeth’s pinched exasperation with Margaret. I miss cringeing/wheezing as I watch Margaret inhale cigarette after cigarette. I miss thinking, “How much time is spent on vacuuming all those drapes?”
Season 3 isn’t due out until 2019, with different actors playing the roles of an aging Windsor populace. I’ll admit that I’m not ready to see these actors and characters go! I need some spin-offs, and I need them now.
Tommy and His Dolls
I didn’t realize how much I adore Sir Alan “Tommy” Lassceles until I was sitting in a movie theater watching Darkest Hour and I yelled out, “It’s Tommy!” when Pip Torrens appeared on the screen.
Tommy’s Dorset baritone…swoon. I’m hoping 2018 will give me the Tommy-fic I want. He’s so focused and intense in his commitment to the Royal Family, and I want someone to write Tommy’s love story, in which he is focused and intense in his commitment to a lady named Poppy. Tommy protects things he loves at all costs. At. All. Costs. Even it means describing MMF action to the Queen.
While y’all work on writing that, I want to see Tommy enacting battles with his dolls.
“Today, ladies and gentleman, we will spend the next sixty minutes discussing Napoleon’s disastrous march of his Grande Armée to Russia in 1812.”
Also, I’m pretty sure Tommy has a room in his house with trains. Thomas and Tommy.
Hate That/Love This with the Queen Mother
The Queen Mother has been very hard to like. She’s a crusty one, very entrenched in the old ways and not very accepting of the new Britain, post-WW2. She HATES King Edward, and I could not quite figure out why. I mean, yes, he gave up the throne, but he did it for love! American girls with style are very persuasive. Jelly much?
And yet, this season all was revealed. King Edward and Wallis were Nazis at worst, Nazi loving enablers at best, and the Queen Mother knew it. She wasn’t jealous; she was righteous.
In addition to hating her brother-in-law, the Queen Mother hates canoodling with commoners. But she loves a conga line and watching nature shows on the BBC. Spin-off idea: every week, viewers send in ideas to find out if she loves it or if she hates it.
Beats by Dre? “Love.”
Justin Trudeau? “Giggles.”
The A Company of Men episode is mostly Philip on a boat, behaving badly. As Phil addressed his fellow Royal Navy shipmates*, I spied one in particular.
In the classic words of the greatest boy band of all time, I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did, as long as you love me. Get this swarthy, bearded fellow a show. Screw Chip Gaines. I want to see this guy’s demo day.
*Don’t @ me with the proper Navy honorifics.
How are you coping until Season 3 of The Crown? What spinoffs do you want to see? Something about Corgis? Tony’s affairs? Stag hunting with Elizabeth sponsored by Hunter Boots?