Remember last week when I was mad at myself for starting a weekly column that required me to find 10 moments to love because … LAST WEEK HURT SO MUCH that TEN moments were hard to come by???
Well, this week, I’m still mad at myself, but for the opposite reason. How am I supposed to choose JUST TEN??????
And then it came to me … consolidation. Instead of highlighting a look or a line or two, I’ll just give you my top ten SIX MINUTE scenes from the episode. That should cover everything nicely.
Not that this episode was about covering things nicely; it was pretty much the opposite of that. UNCOVERING THINGS NICELY. COVERING THINGS MEANLY. That sums it up.
Anyhoo, this week was all about Jamie and Claire getting hitched, against Claire’s wishes surely, and maybe ok with Jamie’s? Dang, he’s keeping his cards close to his vest there, isn’t he? I mean, he likes her and all, and he’s really into metaphors about her hair, but marriage? Ok, he wants to keep her safe, and it’s not like his mom is around to tell him she’s not the girl for him (sorry, RIP Ellen Fraser). And she’s KIND OF the only chick he’s seen for weeks, so I get it.
The whole v-card thing is calling. Time to punch that sucker. HARD.
And poor Claire. She is just totally toasted through the entire day. Blurry eyed confusion and a pounding headache … SO romantic. That blood vow was probably icing on just a shittastic day. So let’s get to it.
My Top Ten Moments from Outlander: The Wedding
1. THIS OUTFIT
I loved the new take on Claire and Frank’s wedding: spur of the moment, clearly something they had talked about and knew the both wanted. Sweet and simple and spontaneous.
But more than anything: LOOK AT CLAIRE COMPLETELY OWNING THIS LATE 1930’s HOTNESS. That hair. That hat. That ascot. All the rest of those basic British bitches better be bowing down because Claire is the goddamned cutest.
And I’m gonna be real here and say that this outfit puts Claire’s past life in her present time into better perspective. She wasn’t JUST a married WWII nurse. She was a super hot co-ed with great style and a fabulous freaking back story to talk about at parties, awesome skillz, and a streak of fun-times Franny that Frank was happy to show off. BECAUSE LOOK AT HER CUTE FREAKING HAT.
2. James Fraser, Disapproving Husband
Jamie, you awkward turtle. That toast. Yikes. But then, Claire totally dissed him by not offering one of her own, and I loved his little brow furrow as he realized, “My wife is a lush. This will not stand.”
Ok, so he’s thinking more along the lines of, “Ok, a toast would have been nice, but she is obviously nervous as f***, so I better diffuse this situation before I spend all night cleaning up puke instead of losing my v-card.”
Sidenote: HOW COME NO ONE HAS PUKED YET WHEN EVERYONE DRINKS LIKE IT’S MTV SPRING BREAK EVERY DAY????
Anyway, I love this part because he so obviously disapproves of her behavior, and he’s trying so hard not be all GRRRRR HUSBANDLY and tell her to stop. He’s saving it up for every other interaction they have for the rest of time.
3. This Sweetness
This is not the first time we’ve seen Jamie and Claire touch, or even hold hands. Hell, we even got lambasted with their first kiss like IT WAS NOTHING (not that I’m bitter about that).
But somehow this sweet moment where she approaches him, and initiates a simple touch was SO DAMN SWEET.
I love in the book when Jamie tells Claire that if it’s easier for them to talk when they are touching, then they’ll touch. And while we didn’t get that line, we did get this adorableness. Which, of course, Jamie misconstrued as Business Time, but whatever. We’ll get to that.
4. These Idiots
Rupert and Angus are quickly becoming everyone’s 2nd favorite characters, or at least mine. All of their scenes end up being some of the best in the episode.
Of course we need their comic relief and simple interactions, but it’s more than that. They are lusty and loud, ridiculous and riotous. Their honor is relegated to the clan world, and not to women.
They provide such a great foil for the kind of man Jamie is … and what we will see him become.
5. It’s Business Time
Jamie awkwardly offering to help Claire with her laces is such a noob move. Like, she’s been dressing and undressing herself for weeks since she left Mrs. Fitz back at the castle, and her corset laces up the front. I think she can handle it, Don Juan.
But then he’s all, oh, you could probably do this, and it kind of sucks but TA-DA I DID IT! It’s so cute and intimate.
On a personal note, my husband had to help me out of my wedding dress and in the process ripped my hair comb out of my head. He was not so smooth.
And speaking of Business Time: Did anyone else notice that Jamie left on his business socks (and his boots)? That’s why they call them business socks.
6. Awkward Post Coitus
OMG HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAA. That <— was me during this scene. SO AWK.
Claire’s polite grins, Jamie’s cheesy “I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT” smiles. It was the perfect representation of a million awkward, intimate encounters where the dude is like, “YES! IF MY COCK COULD STAND UP IT WOULD TAKE A BOW!” and the chick is all, “Ahem. AHEM. Ah…oh, nevermind.”
Then when Jamie asks if she LIKED IT? I had to pause for a million years. Literally the most awkward question and response of all time. ALL TIME.
7. JAMMF, at your service
Do I hear church bells? Angelic choirs? Or is it just my most favoritest male character of ALL TIME GIVING US HIS FULL NAME with like the sexiest little self-deprecating, but also totally proud smirk?
“It’s Fraser. James. Alexander. Malcolm. Mackenzie. Fraser.”
I’m sorry. I haven’t recovered yet from this moment well enough to say anything about it.
8. The Ceremony
I took this screencap because ANGUS IS CLEANING HIS EAR.
Jamie and Claire only get married once. They are husband and wife for decades. This is where it begins, and you have to love that.
I love the bewildered look on Caitriona’s face, as if she knows empirically what is happening but she hasn’t internalized it. She isn’t really there.
And JAMIE. He’s glorious. The entire time. Let’s take a look:
Look at HIM! He knows. He knows you’re totally into him, Claire. Those lips don’t lie.
LOOK AT THEM. Our babies. Getting hitched. He’s so intent on her face.
I absolutely LOVE the layers that Sam Heughan is playing with Jamie this entire episode. There are so many moments when he is saying something and meaning so much more.
How does anyone appreciate this if they don’t know the whole story??? AHHHHHH.
9. Think I’m Going Back to Brunette
Ok, let’s face it. This whole night has not been particularly romantic for Claire. She’s drunk, conflicted and coerced.
BUT, there is something in this moment, when she allows Jamie to appreciate her, to flatter her, to show a bit of attention to her that changes things. By allowing him this intimacy, she’s opening her heart to him a bit. You see her begin to like it, stop fighting against it.
Turning point!!!!
10. MARRIAGE
Ah, the morning after.
I love this short, sweet moment because they look SO MARRIED.
It’s post-coital bliss, intimacy, familiarity and affection all in just a few lines of dialogue and a sweet kiss.
Sure, Frank’s Ring of Power sucks all the sweet out of it in a few seconds, but for just this minute they are Jamie and Claire Fraser, and it’s glorious.
I’m sorry … do you think there are a few moments missing? Well, too bad. Those screencaps are going in my personal collection were never taken because I have respect for artists and stuff.
So what were your favorite moments? Tell us in the comments and discuss THOUGHTFULLY you crazy pervs. (Just kidding, perv away).
And perv away with us tomorrow LIVE at 2pm EST during Talking Outlander. We will be doing a live give away for those watching and using the hashtag #sexpisode. See you then!
