But when we leave them in their series’ final installments, those boyfriends are at their MOST SWOONY. They just got the girl, they just saved the day, they just said the most perfect thing. But what about 10 or 15 years down the road? When those boyfriends are husbands, dads, hen-pecked cube jockeys or unemployed demon hunters? Do they leave socks on the living room floor? Forget to throw away used paper towels? Do the nighttime snuggles suffer because now they snore like crazy? Does he forget to rinse the demon sludge off his gear before he comes in the house?
That’s Normal is gonna take a look at our favorite book boyfriends …. as husbands. This edition: YA Contemporary Romance.
**NOTE: Don’t get caught up in the genre, not every book fits easily in one, and not every book boyfriend can be compared to the others like him (Jonah). I’m just stretching my wings, here. Oh, and slight SPOILER ALERT for most of these books. I can’t really talk about a couple’s future without talking about what happened to them at the end of the book. Read at your own risk.
For our purposes, we are judging these boys by Hotness Sustainability (will they still be hot at 35-40-55), and #HusbandProblems (the inevitable horribleness men bring to their domestic lives). Also, we will assume that all of these fictional husbands are completely devoted to their wives and give them all kinds of romantical attentions all the time. Because that’s what fictional husbands do.
Etienne St. Clair
Hotness Sustainability: Whatever else happens to Etienne over the years, he retains that posh British accent. I imagine him prematurely graying, but WHO CARES because he still says, “Ah-na” and he teaches their kids to call her “mummy.” SWOON.
#HusbandProblems: Because is SO SO CHARMING, he tends to let the kids’ teachers flirt a little too much. Also, he’s short and afraid of heights, so guess who’s cleaning out the gutters and changing lightbulbs? Not.Him.
Bonus: You jaunt off on European vacations whenever … just because, and he buys you poetry.
Hotness Sustainability: Josh has been working with his hands since before time began. He’s rough and tumble and by the time he’s 30, and perpetually wears a groomed lumberjack beard better than most groomed lumberjacks. Hot.
#HusbandProblems: There are 7000 unfinished wood-working projects in the garage, and you own 8 dining room tables. After a couple of years, you have to gut the master bathroom because all the sawdust in the pipes from the 8 showers Josh takes a day have ruined the drainage. Thanks.
Bonus: You never have to shop at Ikea.
Hotness Sustainability: He’s a rock star, a hot one. Doesn’t matter how old he gets – he’s always going to be hot and slightly ahead of the newest facial hair trend.
#HusbandProblems: Sure, he’s a rock star, but an emo one. He’s constantly churning out these uber-sappy lyrics that you think are going to make you swoon, but after 10 years of it, you kinda want to slap him.
Bonus: Guitar callouses and finger dexterity.
Original Boyfriend to: Lola in Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins. Good with his hands.
Hotness Sustainability: Cricket is tall and lean in that way that you know is never really going to change. He still wears postman pants and slim fitting vintage t’s and leather jackets. He accessorizes sparsely and with things he made. His hair is amazing. Basically he ends up looking like Sam Palladio. Which is a-ok.
#HusbandProblems: You don’t own a single thing that didn’t come from a thrift store, even though Cricket makes bank as an engineer. There are mason jars full of gears and wire and your kids play with Tinker Toys and nothing else. I have no doubt the Bell home is a giant safety hazard. Also, he’s 35 and still writes on his hand.
Bonus: He MAKES the best anniversary/birthday/holiday/ANYday gifts. And he can do your hair.
Hotness Sustainability: Bottom line is, he wears guyliner, and that only works for so long. But he’s also half-Korean so he stays completely beautiful forever.
#HusbandProblems: I imagine Park has a basement comic/music vault much like Brodie’s from Mallrats, although I can’t imagine him saying “Touch not, yest ye be touched.” After all, touching Eleanor is his favorite.
Bonus: There isn’t a single time that you don’t absolutely lose your mind in swoon when he grabs your daughter’s hand.
Hotness Sustainability: “Jonah Griggs is a tank.” A tank who ends up in the military, but gets out after a few years to own his own construction company. He wears Carharrt and simple t-shirts, and he’s absolutely ripped. Yeah. Sustained. Maybe even ENHANCED WITH AGE.
#HusbandProblems: He’s military-minded, so he’s not slovenly. He’s a great brother and son, but he’s not too attached to put you second. He loves taking vacations (as long as you don’t ride the train), but he knows it’s important to love where you have roots. I’m having trouble with my probs here – maybe he has a weakness for fresh baked goods?
Bonus: HE’S JONAH GRIGGS.
What do you think your favorite guys will be like? Upcoming Editions of When Book Boyfriends Become Husbands include Dystopian YA, Paranormal YA and Adult Fiction. Have a favorite Book Boyfriend you want to rate? Tweet me at @bethorne.