Usually by the time the fantasy suites date of The Bachelor roll around I have checked out and just want to have my Monday nights back, but this season I am all in. I drank the Kool-Aid. My eyes are barely rolling anymore, guys. They’re too busy staring in abject horror at the disaster taking place on screen. It’s so bad, it’s good.
Heidi watched The Bachelor so you don’t have to (But makes it look so, SO fun)
With only 6 women remaining this season things are getting downright respectable around here. I mean, only 6 girlfriends? At this point Ben could fit all of his women in a single minivan for a trip around his hometown if he so desired.
One day you are a cute blonde who gets convinced to sign up for The Bachelor. The next you’re in your bikini with 5 other women, sharing a boyfriend, and feeding hot dogs to swimming hogs.
While former Bachelor farmer Chris Soules caucused in a corn field, our current Bachelor in Chief, Ben Higgins, was headed to Mexico where presidents are elected via wet t-shirt contest at Señor Frog’s. After exploring the local sites at exotic locations like a Spanish classroom and a grocery market, Ben would clear the field of wifely candidates from 11 to a more manageable single digit. He’ll be able to count all of his girlfriends on only two hands now, so let’s clap as that glass ceiling shatters.
