This week on The Bachelorette, Rachel was supposed to take her three boyfriends on fantasy overnight dates in Spain. People, I can not overstate my level of preparedness for the glorious awkwardness that is the fantasy suite episode. A pillow to hide behind when things got uncomfortable? Check. Ear plugs to drown out the inevitable lip smacking? Got ’em. A list of ridiculous innuendos prepared for your recapping enjoyment? Obviously. So you can imagine my dismay when most of the episode took place in Rachel’s family home in Dallas since her sister was too pregnant to travel. It’s bad enough that pregnancy took over most of my twenties, does it really need to ruin my Monday night shame watch too? Thanks a lot, Rachel’s sister’s womb.
A Gif Recap of The Bachelorette: Hometown Heartache
The Bachelorette’s hometown dates featured a death threat, every black friend Peter has ever had, three declarations of love and one seriously uncomfortable confrontation between Dean and his dad that I hope to never relive. Don’t worry, we watched it so you didn’t have to.
A Gif Recap of The Bachelorette: Mud Wrestling in the Friend Zone
This week The Bachelorette featured lap dancing on The Ellen Show, riding horses on Rodeo Drive and mud wrestling. We wouldn’t want it any other way.
A Gif Recap of The Bachelorette: 3 Celebrities, 1 Ex-Girlfriend and a Dog in a Cast
Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay jumped right into week two with her first one-on-one date, two groups dates, three celebrity guests, one date crashing ex-girlfriend, and one dog wearing a cast. You know you love it.
Introducing the Men of The Bachelorette
You know what JoJo needs right now? A friend to make snap judgments about the guys she’s dating. By friend we mean us. Obviously.