Back in July when I saw Haus Laboratories launch I was stoked. But it was a pre-order and I wanted to see how people liked it before spending my hard-earned dollhairs on an unknown makeup product. Flash forward to now and the reviews are rolling out and I was even more confused than before. Some people LOVED it. Some people hated it. Jeffree Star approved it but thought it was lackluster and kind of boring. RawBeautiKristi also said the products worked but were meh.
So I bought Lady Gaga’s makeup
So to settle the debate, I have officially inserted myself into this arena and will bring you my completely unbiased review of Gaga’s makeup. Please don’t disown me Mother Monster, I love you so much.
I have what I consider to be mediocre makeup application skills. I can cut a crease, contour my face to filth, and make a full face of makeup last throughout an outdoor memorial service in 110° heat with 100% humidity. I did my BFF’s makeup for her wedding and she still talks to me, so I’m not terrible at makeup. That’s the gist of what I am saying here, ok. This is important. Remember this part. I. Am. Not. Terrible. With. Makeup.
This is me not being terrible at makeup. This is me not wearing Haus Labs.
Currently, Haus Labs is selling eyeliner, lip liner, lip gloss, liquid eye shadows, and face stickers. Yeah, like what Gaga is wearing above me, those are stickers. You can also get cat eyeliner stickers as well. Which apparently are reusable? Gross. I passed on the stickers and got two Glam Attacks (the liquid eyeshadows), one in a black shimmer shade called Chained Ballerina and the other a soft pink called Aphrodite. I also bought one lip gloss in the color Corset. I spent a whopping $61! The prices are set as if this is a prestige brand, on the same monetary level as Stila, Natasha Denona, and Tarte.
As a makeup lover, when I see a brand new brand pop out of the gate with high prices, I automatically think in my head that those price tags are writing a hefty promise that their products better be able to live up to. The Glam Attacks were $20 apiece, the lip gloss was $18. Do I hate myself for spending $18 on a single lip gloss? A little bit, yes, but I would thank you to not bring that up again.
Glam Attack Liquid Shimmer Powder
Busting Out The Booze
What made me reach for the booze? I had to redo my eye look three times. The first time I took the applicator and smeared the black shade (Chained Ballerina) all over my eyelid in an attempt for a super dramatic smokey eye. A good thing to know about the Glam Attacks is that they aren’t just shimmery, they are FULL of glitter. The glitter went everywhere on my face. I tried taking a large fluffy powder brush and brushing off the glitter specks, but they were there to stay.
That is when I learned that the liquid powder shadows dry down real fast and sheer out as soon as I tried to blend it out. I looked like I got punched in the eyeball by Lady Gaga. I wiped this travesty off and tried again.
This time I took a soft gray shade and threw it in my crease and blended it upward in an attempt to soften up the liquid shadow and married the two shades together.
Am I Terrible At Makeup?
It didn’t work. This is when I busted out the booze. I began to question every makeup product I have ever bought. White Claw on board and my dreams of being Gaga slowly dying, I decided a final attempt was in order. I took the liquid shadow and wiped the applicator to the back of my hand so I had a black glittery puddle of shadow. I grabbed a packer brush and patted the shade along my lash line and slightly upwards. Knowing how fast these dry out, I then grabbed a small blender brush and tried to buff it up into that gray shade that I had reapplied.
This was my final look. Was it pretty? Yes. Was it worth the time it took to achieve? No. Was it worth the cost of the Glam Attack liquid powder? Hell to the no. Sorry Lady Gaga, I am returning the Glam Attacks. I hate them. I have Ulta brand liquid shadows that work way better than these guys. The light pink shade, Aphrodite is so pretty and I used that for my cheekbone highlight in the above photos. I’m still returning it because it left a trail of glitter that stayed on my face for a day and a half. And I double cleanse to remove my makeup, so that glitter really isn’t playing. I’m not a big fan of glitter due to the environmental impacts of all the microplastics going down the sink. My husband just plain hates glitter.
Le Riot Lip Gloss
In the above photos of my final look, I’m wearing the lip gloss and I am going to keep that product. I hate the fact that I spent $18 on lip gloss, I really really do (I know, I brought it up again). Full transparency, if it wasn’t Gaga’s brand, I would have NEVER spent that much money on a lip gloss. E.L.F., NYX, ColourPop, and Wet N Wild all have great drugstore lip glosses. Gaga’s lip gloss is nice and thick, has a decent amount of pigment and is not overly sticky. This is the kind of lip gloss you put on for a really nice out because it won’t budge, but your hair will 100% get stuck in it.
Also, the lip gloss doesn’t have any fragrance or flavor which to me is a huge bonus. In my humble opinion, I don’t need my lips to smell like a bakery, it just gives me a headache and dries out my lips.
Y’all know my final thoughts by now but in case it slipped your attention, I am disappointed and sad. I love Lady Gaga and I love makeup but I do not love Lady Gaga’s makeup. I don’t know if I would purchase another product from Haus Labs, but I know I will keep a close eye on this brand. Hopefully, they take the constructive feedback they are getting and make some changes. The products have merit, the execution of them just fell short.
Please don’t hate me, Gaga. I still love you.