All of the “Woo!”
The finale had all the best finale things: epic battles, betrayals, tragic deaths, and, of course, sexy times! Here are my favorite moment from Vikings – Ragnarok:
King Olaf the Stout
Ever since the death of the Seer, there’s been a real dearth of “creepy guys making inscrutable, dire predictions.” Well no more, my friends! Earl Olaf stepped into the void to play the role of the maybe nuts (?) maybe drunk (?) uncle at your family Thanksgiving spouting off seemingly irrelevant macabre tidbits while rocking thrift store duds. His Greek chorus commentary during the attack on Kattegatt gave this episode a Shakespearean feel, and was a cool way to weave a parallel between the action and Norse mythology.
It’s a trap!
With all of Ivar’s talk about returning to England to take back York, I was worried Bjorn and Co. would show up to Kattegatt to find no one home and this sign hung on the gates:
Fortunately, Ivar’s York plans were put on hold while he poured all of his evil genius into a whole new crop of sinister weaponry to repel Bjorn’s attack. But the piece de resistance was truly the “gate within a gate” slammed down, trapping Bjorn inside the citadel just as he thought he had breeched Ivar’s defenses!
I smell a crossover opportunity . . .
I’m not very convinced that Bjorn could’ve made it out of there alive, but I’m glad he did because this:
Bjorn Braveheart
Among the really great performances of this season, Bjorn’s battlefield monologue did a little something extra to my feelings. His impassioned plea to the soldiers on the wall to remember their childhoods together, to remember that he is one of them, to recognize him as the one who truly loves Kattegatt was heartbreaking. Alexander Ludwig did an amazing job tapping into the gravity of Bjorn’s entire journey through the show, from a farmer’s son to its rightful heir.
[I’d insert a Braveheart gif here, but Mel Gibson is an enormous POS so thank you no]
Magnus Nopus
Poor Magnus, he really has been the Vanilla Ice of season 5. He does all the things that should make him a Viking – wears the clothes, speaks the language, bathes infrequently – but he just comes off as a giant poser. Never so much as when he’s in trouble and immediately reverts to calling out for his Christian god. But during the battle for Kattegatt, his true faith is finally cemented. The Lord does not exist! Only the Norse gods can protect him! Glory be! He is finally a true Viki-
*dies inopportunely*
R.I.P. son of Ragnar – better luck in in Valhalla, where you can finally be reunited with your father.
[cut to Ragnar in Valhalla]Oooh, that’s gotta hurt!
What she said
Gunnhild is the magical hero we didn’t know we needed this season. The show literally turned the corner when she showed up, and I love every last scene she’s in and every last thing she says. Especially this moment when she’s not just sexing up Bjorn, she’s also mic dropping her concise feminist manifesto:
She doesn’t want to be trapped! (Yes!) She wants to fight! (Yes!) She wants to “ride wild horses’! (Yes, gurl! Yes!)
You go!
Seer you, wouldn’t want to Be-er you!
Ah, Vikings – you can never let anyone just win a thing! After Bjon is crowned king of Kattegatt, Micheal Hirst channels his inner Ziggy cartoonist to interrupt what should be Bjorn’s greatest moment of triumph with visions of death, suffering, and warnings from Ragnar. And if that’s not enough, the Mayor of Buzzkillville (The Seer) shows up to let Bjorn know that his joy will be short-lived, the “war is not over,” and basically everyone you love is going to suffer horribly. Thanks asshole!
Now that the season is over, it’s time to reveal my pick for “Best moment of Vikings Season 5.” (drum roll, please)
Here it is, folks:
I mean, someone had to say it
As this moment of her not having it with Bjorn and Harald’s shit demonstrates perfectly, Gunnhild is absolutely the best thing ever to happen to season 5 and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for her next season!
On that topic, I’m guessing next season will be all about Ivar scheming his way back to Kattegatt, but how will he without an army or any allies? Is it his turn to flee to Wessex? And what the Hell happened to Floki? We’ll all have to wait for season 6 – THE FINAL SEASON – to find out!!
dun Dun DUN!
See you next year! Until then,
