Emily suggested that I just take a look at a few movie posters, see if I can guess what they’re about.
Judging a movie based on the poster? Yep, I’m here for it.
But first, why do I hate these kinds of movies? I don’t know. It’s not that I’m “nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLs.” I love pretty much every other “basic” thing on the market. Pumpkin Spice Latte? Yes, please! Ugg boots and leggings? My literal wardrobe from October till March. Rose gold anything? ROSE GOLD MY LIFE! And, it’s not that I think I’m some special tough girl who’s “above chick flicks”. What do I watch to get me Christmas ready? To me, the best Christmas movies ever made are The Muppets Christmas Carol, Scrooged, Die Hard, The Nightmare Before Christmas, A Christmas Story, and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
Let’s get to judging these posters!
A Very Merry Mix-Up
This poster is pure subliminal Christmas. Both characters are wearing green coats with red scarves. Cool. That plane lurking in the background is giving me Final Destination vibes, but since this is the Hallmark Channel, I’m going to say that’s not the case here. I bet Red decided to meet her online boyfriend at Christmas after he canceled both Thanksgiving and July 4th plans on her. Little did she know, her “boyfriend” was really a catfish and was just trying to get her to cash some bad checks. Clearly, the catfish didn’t show up to the airport to pick her up, but this guy showed up with a placard that had her name on it, so she decided to forgive and forget. Until she gets another email from the catfish apologizing for missing her flight and asking if she cashed the checks. She decides not to talk to the catfish again and see where it goes with Mr. Airport Placard. Placard guy gets an irate text from his new client that he was supposed to pick up at the airport and realizes he got the wrong girl but decides to let it go because he thinks she’s super funny and cute. They both find out the truth in a dramatic and perfect snowy night. They get married and live happily ever after.
Lesson Learned: Always ask to see an ID before getting into a strangers car. Duh.
Emily: So close. Alice, played by Alicia Witt, has some serious airport mishaps and ends up arriving before her new fiancé Will Mitchum. No big deal right? Well, Matt Mitchum, Will’s brother is on the same flight and offers to help out after lost luggage and damaged phones. What could go wrong? You can watch A Very Merry Mix-Up on Amazon Prime Video.
A Princess For Christmas
HAHAHAHA, oh, Sam, he looks like a baby here! Also, Sam is aging very nicely. Young Sam? He’s cute. Sam now? He’s handsome. Sam in ten years? Call me.
This movie is clearly about a nanny who is new to taking care of Sam’s older brother’s kids. She’s a poor girl who’s used to the simple pleasures of life and he’s a cocky Prince who thinks with his….cocky prince. He takes her on a yacht, she takes him to a soup kitchen. They fall fast for each other but when he realizes how deep he’s in love with her, he leaves her. His dad dies and he realizes life is short and the ladies he’s with are the worst. He buys the soup kitchen where she volunteers as his “sorry I’m a dickhole” present. She takes him back. They get married. HEA.
Lesson Learned: Invent time-machine to talk at Sam ten years from now.
Emily: SO SO close. Jules, played by Katie McGrath is raising her orphaned niece and nephew. That’s when Grandpa 007 comes into the picture. Since Jules is only related by marriage, getting it on with Prince Sam doesn’t count as ew. Things go great until a misunderstanding. Will they have a HEA? Watch A Princess for Christmas on Amazon Prime Video.