Last week I wrote about the movie trailers that were supposed to make a big splash during the Super Bowl and they all certainly did. The Avengers: Infinity War trailer was the best of the night for me, but we already knew that was going to be amazing. It has all the characters we’ve fallen in love with over the past decade in one epic movie. In terms of pleasant surprises, the night belonged to Mission: Impossible- Fallout. Not because of the movie itself, because that seems like a run-of-the-mill action movie with the added dash of implausibility that Tom Cruise is still kicking everyone’s ass at 55 years old. Henry Cavill’s mustache did not disappoint. His character’s name is August Walker, but who cares about that because he shares most of his time with Angela Bassett, smolders with sexy fighting energy, and of course, sports this majestic facial hair throughout. Watch it here:
If you paid any attention to what this movie might be about, good for you. I’m guessing that there’s a mission that’s seemingly impossible. (Although at this point these missions can’t be all that hard if he’s made it through five others before this one.) I was laser focused on all the images that I’d be adding to the Henry Cavill folder on my hard drive, because yes that is a thing that I have. #thatsnormal
This stern look
I like to imagine that this is what Napoleon Solo would look like if the sequel to The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is ever made and takes place in the 70s, when that facial hair would have totally worked. (This face is also the reaction I usually get when I gush about The Man from U.N.C.L.E. endlessly.)
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I like that August Walker seems to be teamed up with Angela Bassett’s character. I feel better about his chances of making it through this movie if she’s in charge, because a woman that tough knows how to get shit done. I know nothing about this franchise and have no clue who anyone is, but based on this trailer alone she’s my favorite character.
Hunting with the Palins
There are already so many ridiculously outlandish scenarios in this trailer that it almost doesn’t seem insane that there’s some kind of machine gun helicopter chase going down in the French Alps. Tom Cruise’s character must pay insane insurance premiums because he seems to crash every single vehicle he operates.
The part that was *a MOMENT*
I don’t know if it’s the forceful, jerky little air punches, the hair over the forehead, the pissed off expression, or a combination of all of those things, but whatever’s happening here is working. I watched this gif loop over and over for a solid 5 minutes. Very clearly seeing several urinals in the background should lessen the sexiness, but the fact that it doesn’t proves the power of this moment.
Henry seems to be in on the joke and is being a good sport about it. When he posted the link to the trailer on his Instagram, he wrote to us as his mustache. Hang in there man, I’m sure you’ll be able to shave it off soon. Thanks to the genes of my southern Italian ancestors, I too know what it’s like to have facial hair that you’d rather be rid of.
Dear Reader Due to the lateness of the hour Henry is now actually in bed, it is a school night after all. Being his moustache however, I require no sleep (or food). So I have taken it upon myself to address you, my lovers and my haters to announce this exciting event! The first trailer is here, my glorious debut! Bathe in my bristly glow! Marvel at my contours and yes, be allured you who are facially able, for our time has come. From the pages of history we shall charge forth and rule the world once more and I shall be your king! Also, I hope the Superbowl is exciting. As I have no eyes, I cannot know what state it’s in right now but I do hope it’s entertaining! Link in bio. #KingStache #MissionImpossible @MissionImpossible
Mission: Impossible- Fallout will be in theaters on July 27th.