Often I find myself in bed late at night, so very tired and struggling to keep my eyes open, clicking through just one more picture, finding just one more friend tagged whose profile I click on to see their sister who tagged a brand that ended up being co-owned by the original friend and her bff from high school (I think) and their husbands (both on Instagram, of course) who now do beer nights together with the ex boyfriend of the original person, all because of my Instagram stalking.
So in my new series “Confessions of an Instagram Stalker,” I’m going to introduce you to the people who keep me up til 1 am, even on the nights I have to get up for 7 am yoga.
Today we’re stalking Teresa Palmer.
I actually started this post a few weeks back BEFORE Teresa was announced as the lead in The Discovery of Witches (#Hipster Insta Stalker), as I’ve been following Teresa for years. We actually interviewed Teresa a few times back in 2013, when she played a zombie lover in the Book-To-Movie Warm Bodies (which was actually a delight to watch!)
Since 2013, Teresa Palmer has been busy. I’m sure she’s done some sort of work in Hollywood, but mostly I mean she’s busy on Instagram. Here is what you need to know:
A few years back, Teresa got knocked up by this HOTTIE and filmmaker Mark Webber:
Mark has a kid with another woman but there isn’t any drama and I think Teresa and his ex really like each other:
Teresa and Mark were sickenly cute and in love (they met because she tweeted him), so they got married and had their son Bodhi. Teresa is Australian and and Bodhi seems to be a cool Australian thing (Beach, form of Buddhism, Something else hip…?) Teresa is super crunchy and natural and a vegan hippie, and while I’m sure I wouldn’t agree with her vaccination stance (vaccinate your kids, people), I think her lifestyle works for her. She appears beautiful and healthy and happy. She seems like she really loves her husband:
Ugh, I would too
Teresa is super devoted to her kids, Bodhi and Forest, and motherhood is everything to her:
It still feels like a dream. I am so moved to be sharing the @vogueaustralia cover with my sons Bodhi and Forest. Thanks to @edwinamccann and team for such an incredible and adventure filled shoot! We have these images as a keepsake forever. I’m so grateful and honoured ?❤️Wearing @chanelofficial Photos by @nicolebentleyphoto On sale Monday 24th April. #BerlinSyndrome #Chanel #VogueAustralia
I think you can see why she keeps having babies with this man:
Watch Forests’ birth story if you have 46 minutes (Seriously, it’s in 4 parts).
In a previous life, Teresa did the Hollywood thing with her bff from back in Australia, actress Phoebe Tonkin:
With her Instagram-stalk worthy bff Sarah Wright Olsen, Teresa owns Your Zen Mama, a natural and holistic website and community for mamas. I read it often (as I have cats). Fun Fact: Her bff Sarah is married to Eric Olsen of NCIS LA-fame:
One of Sarah’s best friends (and by extension Teresa’s) is actress Daniela Ruah (also from NCIS LA). Daniela is married to David Olsen, Eric Olsen’s brother, making Sarah and Daniela Sisters-in-law. It’s all really incestual in the LA celebrity, but not quite A-lister scene.
Somehow Teresa, Mark, Bodhi and Forest have the time and money to fly back and forth from their home in LA to their home in Adelaide, Australia, seemingly often, not to mention to Paris, The Maldives and all over the world. I’m not jealous (yes, yes, I totally am). It’s hard to hate on Teresa Palmer, though, because she truly seems lovely. Her marriage to Mark, her friendship with Sarah and her attitude towards food and products and the natural lifestyle, all seems very pure and believable. At least through her pictures.
And believe me, I Instagram-stalk her a lot.
Who are you Instagram Stalking?