And to that I say, Boy bye.
LaCroix? Puh-lease. Polar Seltzer is THE cult favorite. You can sip your LaCroix kool-aid and we will sip the best seltzer on the planet. It’s Polar Seltzer or go home.
Yankees Have the Best Seltzer
Even if Donny John Trump and his clan can’t accept it, the truth is that Yankees won the Civil War. And that means Yankee states get the best seltzer. Born in Worcester, Massachusetts, in 1882, Polar Beverages are are easy to find in New England. Sure, you can sometimes find it in Southern stores, but when it comes to seltzer, Stop n Shop > Piggly Wiggly. Tear down your monument to Stonewall Jackson and erect giant Polar cans statues instead.
Can’t find Polar in your area? Move.
Polar Don’t Play
There are other seltzers and soda waters out there. La Croix. Schewppes. New York. Seagram’s. If Polar were a lion, all the others are kittens. Polar has the most “ahhhhh,” the most carbonation, the most refreshing bubbles. I don’t want my seltzer to tickle my tongue; I want my seltzer to jackhammer my face.
We are a seltzer family. Ruby calls it “fizzy water” and has a special metal straw she uses to drink it. Her favorite flavor is Ruby Red Grapefruit (obviously). I go back and forth between Georgia Peach and Mandarin Orange.
Current regular flavors include
- Black Cherry: Rich and delicious.
- Blueberry Lemonade: Just add gin.
- Cherry Pomegranate: Not gonna lie, I’ve never bought this one.
- Cranberry Lime: Have I bought this one?
- Georgia Peach: Like a Nehi Soda but better.
- Granny Smith Apple: Tart. Like me.
- Lemon: Nah. Lemon drinks are like Pledge.
- Lime: Works in a pinch.
- Mandarin: On my desk at this very moment.
- Orange Vanilla: Just add dark rum.
- Pomegranate: Always on sale at Shaw’s.
- Raspberry Lime: Will drink.
- Ruby Red Grapefruit: Tastes amazing after a tennis match.
- Original: The Roger Federer of seltzer. A Classic.
- Strawberry Watermelon: Cut a hole in a watermelon and pour this in. Meta.
- Triple Berry: Almost a super food.
Every season, Polar produces “limited edition” flavors, and it’s always a treasure hunt trying to find them. This summer, the special flavors were Unicorn Kisses, Dragon Whispers, Yeti Mischief, and Mermaid Songs.
We also got to enjoy summer flavors like Strawberry Sunrise and Watermelon Margarita. And for this basic bish from Rhode Island, there was Raspberry Rosé. Top that, Cheerwine.
I love Polar Seltzer because it’s delicious. It’s calorie free, and for a camel like me, any way I can get water into my systems is a win.
Like the folks at Polar say, “Why be flat when you can sparkle?”
All Polar images courtesy of Polar Beverage