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I recently ordered a Bloody Mary at Met on Main, out on Nantucket. Then I was handed a form and a pencil, asking me to check off all the things I wanted in my Bloody Mary. Am I taking a census or am I ordering a cocktails?
A Bloody Mary is a drink. It is not a meal. It is not gazpacho with spirits. I want to answer two questions–and two questions only–when it comes to my Bloody Mary order:
A garnish is a small compliment to a drink. Acceptable Bloody Mary garnishes include sliced pickle, celery stick, or skewer green olives. A fried chicken leg is not a garnish.
Why do Americans have to ruin everything? I don’t like a Bloody Mary bar. I don’t want Ted from Billerica sneezing into the carafe of Clamato. I don’t like to “do it myself.” I don’t need boostraps to tackle my hangover.
Why do Americans have to make everything so…EXTRA? Morgan Spurlock needs a new documentary, focusing on the out of control Bloody Mary trend. It’s like there is a game of food Jenga going on in my highball glass and I’m sick of it.
Don’t let Monday ruin your Sunday. Start your day the Hoodoo way, with our Bloody Trinity. Our house Bloody Mary blend, @titosvodka topped with a pork rib, a slice of brisket and jalapeño sausage. #hoodoobrown #brunch #bloodymary #bloodytrinity #bbq #bbqbrunch
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Stop it, right now.
Every breakfast should start this way 🍅. Enjoyed the most delicious brunch to help celebrate the one + only @laurengravelle ✨Happy Birthday to my everything friend who has heart of gold! Cheers to you 🥂 . . . . #mondaymood #brunch #thecopperhen #mn #birthdayparty #bloodymary #summer #foodie #happybirthday
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Sebastian Bloody Mary Lobster claw, 2 shrimp, bacon, olives, @keelvodka with a house made Bloody Mary mix. Umm yeah…😛😛😛 #bloodymary #lobster #foodporn #craftcocktails #bacon #shrimpcocktail #drinkporn #thirsty #tuesday #drinks #keelvodka
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Stop putting to words “drink” and “porn” together.