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TN Rants: Dear Terrible Human Being

in Life on by 13 Comments

Sunday night I was just hanging out minding my own business on the interwebs when this HuffPost Women link (which has since been removed from both HuffPo and the woman’s blog but remain HERE) popped up on my Facebook news feed. It was titled: Dear Cranky Lady at the Grocery Store. Now, having been the cranky lady more than one time, I thought I should probably read it and make sure it really wasn’t about me.

Well, it wasn’t about me, at least not that I can remember in recent weeks, but it COULD BE about me and that’s just one of the reasons I feel the need to respond. So to that overly entitled woman at the grocery store that may or may not have been with me in line: read up and learn ya something.

Originally featured in the post on HuffPo and Hugs, Kisses and Chaos

Dear Terrible Human Being Who Chose To Breed,

 
Yeah, I get it. You’re the best Mom in the whole wide world. You wake your progeny up by singing to them. You know what I would have done as a child if my parents woke me up by singing to me? I would have asked to be adopted out to a more suitable family who doesn’t believe in torture tactics.
 
While you stood there and allowed your precious snowflakes to scream their special heads off and judged me for giving side eye over it, I was busy trying not to puke from an overwhelming migraine that I was battling.
 
When you smiled at me like a lunatic, I realized my desperate need of toilet paper wasn’t that big of a deal and quickly calculated exactly how many napkins I could swindle from the drive thru at McDonalds after only buying a bottled water.
 
During your incorrect judging of me, you know when you decided that it’s MY FAULT your kids are screaming and you’re allowing it because I just don’t understand how wonderful your spawn are, I was attempting to imagine myself on a beach far far away from any other human being.
 
If your children were throwing a tantrum and screaming over not being allowed to have a candy bar, I would have understood. I myself have shed tears over the lack of chocolate in my own shopping cart. The struggle can be so real. It’s damn near impossible to control someone else’s emotional response.
 
However, you allowed those things to scream for the hell of it. And then in a move the CIA would be very interested in YOU READ MY MIND and judged me for what you thought I was thinking.
 
When did you first realize you could read minds? Was it in a nuclear waste accident that you developed this skill or were you born with it?
 
Remember this insane mother who smiles at other people’s physical pain:
 
Kindness first, kindness last, kindness always. It is, in fact, an act of kindness to respect other people and their desire to not be assaulted with your children’s screams.
 
I may not have been the cranky lady with whom your speaking of, or maybe I am it does seem probable to me, but remember this: every single person on this planet is fighting their own battles. Do not presume to know my motivations and I will not assume that you are a psychopath bent on raising a psychopathic army planning on taking over this world one grocery store check-out line at a time.
 
Sincerely,
The Lady Battling A Migraine And Just Wants to Go Home and Sleep.
 
Ps: Your humble bragging is nauseating.
Pps: Huffpost Women published the blog, but it first appeared on Hugs, Kisses, and Chaos.

About Laura

Current Obsessions: GoT, Doctor Who, the MCU, Harry Potter, all things sci-fi, sharks, hardcore Disney fan since '84, and last but never least terrible Syfy movies are her lifeblood. Laura spends her days as a SAHM and a Freelance Writer. Her nights are spent coloring, drinking Scotch and cuddling her dog, DuckDog.

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