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During the past few decades of my life, I have acquired more than a few nemeses: raw broccoli; gel eyeliner and the fact that no matter how many tutorials I watch online, I still can’t properly wing out my eye; 2000’s Britney Spears; Gap discontinuing the Long and Lean jean; people who believe in putting at least three cars distance between them and other drivers at stoplights; City of Angels and the worst film ending EVER; that Forever 21 cashier who called me “Ma’am.”
But all of these pale in comparison to my ultimate nemesis: Exercise.
I’m just going to say what many people are afraid to say out loud: I hate exercise. To those who would say to me, “But it makes you feel better!” Yeah? So does sitting on a couch, binge watching Parks and Recreation for the twelfth time or reading some tawdry paperback with a bare chested firefighter on the cover.
But alas, I also know that exercise can make me healthier, live longer, and fit into non-stretch skinny jeans. So, what’s a girl who considers the phrase “No Pain, No Gain” to be synonymous with nails on a chalkboard to do to get healthy and fit?
Here’s just some of my go-to-don’t-make-me-hate-excercise-as-much-as-I-did-before staples.
About a year ago, I discovered pilates reformer. And about three seconds ago, I realized that previous sentence was the most first-world sentence I have ever written.
I did fall in love with PR (First-world abbreviation). A forty-five minute session breezed by before you could say “Namaste,” I was working muscles I didn’t know I had, and a majority of it was sitting. So basically, it was made for me.
But anyone can tell you that sessions can be a bit pricey or spots fill quickly. My solution? No, it’s not stay at home and watch Andy Dwyer belt out “5,000 Candles in the Wind” again.
A few months ago, while pursuing/stalking YouTube lifestyle vlogs, I came across Jenny Mustard.
Hailing from the land of Berlin, Jenny and her partner David, chronicle their Vegan, minimalist lifestyle and make me feel a fractional amount of guilt when I eat a hamburger while watching their videos. Well played, Mustard.
It’s Jenny’s pilates tutorial, however, that saved me from having to say, “When I used to do pilates…”
A free pilates workout you can do in the comfort of your own home with no one around you thinking you want to hear his or her incessant chanting? Thanks, Jenny.
There are literally thousands of apps dedicated to exercise and hundreds of them focus on getting you off the couch and onto a treadmill.
One of my favorite apps is Running for Weight Loss. This free app is for all those who would rather eat off their own arms than run more than two minutes. Whether you want to run to lose weight, train for a 10k, or just walk your stress away, RWL offers various programs and intensities.
Plus, they have “trainers” that will tell you that you’re “doing great” even if you’re passed out on the treadmill from running too fast.
Go ahead and roll your eyes at me. I deserve it.
Yes, I was one of those people who made fun of FitBit users – mocking their incessant checking for steps, biting back the moan when they would announce that they reached 10,000. I swore I would never spend money on one.
Well, I’m a liar.
I finally bit (FitBit pun…sorry) the fitness bullet and purchased a FitBit, and yes, I now incessantly check my steps and perhaps do a little celebratory dance when I reach 10,000, which coincidentally adds more steps.
But I’m a FitBitliever: it does make you want to reach that 10,000 step goal daily, hell make it 20,000. You want to see your daily walking milage increase. Don’t even get me started on the thunderbolt of activity.
Does a FitBit completely rid me of my exercise rage? No. But when I stomp my feet in protest, it does add that to my steps.