Bekah and I gathered around my TV after a few drinks, grabbed my BF and hit play on this masterpiece.
Let’s talk about the best/worst moments of A Princess for Christmas:
Toto, we’re not at Downton anymore.
According to IMDB A Princess for Christmas was filmed in Romania. I mean, go on and get those tax breaks and cheap labor Lifetime, but you really should have sprung for a better castle. The scene featuring Roger Moore’s bedroom looked like a two star nightmare of a hotel you’d see on Trip Advisor. Tip to the art department: rent some art work for the walls y’all.
Sam Heughan’s Dancing
Sure he can do the waltz or whatever but he’s no Captain von Trapp. I’m talking about the “funky,” “hip hop” dancing he does with Katie McGrath while the kids are playing guitar in the background. This is like open bar at a wedding reception dancing to “Funky Cold Medina” level of dancing. I was looking for a GIF of the moment when Sam throws up a gang sign, cause he’s hard like that but even the internet was too embarrassed to GIF that moment.
Katie McGrath’s aka Jules’ Entire Wardrobe
All I have to say is: the fuck are those boots?! Sure, she worked in an antiques shop so she’s probably not rollin’ in the dough but she has a nanny for her two kids, a single family home, a sort of working car and knows her antiques, you’d think she could dress a bit better than her Target Xhilaration meets Khol’s collection circa 2003. Let’s not even mention the fact her nude colored, strapless bra was totally visible in her supposedly fancy dress.
Sam Heughan’s Combover
If I was Jules and I had just taken a cross atlantic flight to the exotic European country of Castlebury on Castlebury Airlines and the first thing I saw was this combover on the other side, I’d head right back to Buffalo and hot wings and unemployment.
The Name: Paisley Winterbottom
That Archery Scene Tho
Beyond the fact it’s snowing and all they’re wearing are light sweaters from the Colin Firth collection and a loosely draped scarf, I’m shocked DCFS didn’t show up and take those kids back to Buffalo. BUT REALLY the highlight of this moment is when Sam is trying to impart some sort of Uncle/Fatherly advice to the angry and angsty Milo when he instructs him “and when you release the bow, let go of the anger.” Lolzzzzz forever for an ambiguously aged teenager.
Of ALL the weird, good, awful, funny things in this movie, I was most creeped out by the “teen boy” character called Milo than Sam Heughan’s comb over, the amount of plastic surgery Roger Moore has had or the horrific boots they made Katie McGrath wear in, like every scene. We spent half of the movie trying to figure out if Milo was 12 or 55 it was that confusing. I finally hit up IMDB and Google because his voice kept creeping my out. Turns out Milo is Travis Turner who is TWENTY FREAKING SIX YEARS OLD!!!!!! 26! TWO-SIX!!! I started Googling Travis and stalking him on Instagram where I found out he’s an “emcee,” hangs at the clubs A LOT and goes by the name “Little T.” He’s like the modern QT from that MTV movies 2gether but ya know, not dead (too soon?).
Let’s be real A Princess for Christmas was just trying to be Julia Stiles in The Prince and Me without the riding lawn mower race scene. I can’t believe it’s taken us this long to watch this masterpiece but ya know, it’s probably a good thing otherwise JAMMF might had made us hum Funky Cold Medina to ourselves anytime he was on screen.
Have you seen A Princess for Christmas? Share your favorite scenes in the comments.