That’s Normal’s 2016 New Years Predictions
Carrie Jo’s Predictions:
In the good column: I think Poldark will continue to explode in the U.S., and we’ll see a ton more shirtless gifs of Aidan Turner.
In the not-as-good column: I think that the Allegiant movie will be even more underwhelming in the box office than the last part of Mockingjay. Reviews of the last Hunger Games book were mixed. I don’t think I spoke to anyone who loved Allegiant.
I will end up hiding 50% of my facebook friends because of political posts leading up to November 2016 thus leaving my facebook feed to feature friends who only post pictures of their cats or kids and adverts for boots and makeup.
The Bachelor will have “The Most Dramatic Season Ever” for the 20th season in a row and I will text Heidi late at night to talk shit about the girls even though I know she has better things to do… like keeping three children alive.
A celebrity couple will consciously uncouple only to remind me that true love still does not exist (unless it does and you know someone who might be interested?? I mean I’m not getting any younger.)
Impressed by The Tonight Show’s a cappella rendition of Star Wars medley, J.J. Abrams and John Williams will ask Jimmy Fallon and the Roots to record the entire score for the next million films. Unfortunately, Pentatonix will remix that.
Not Kristen Stewart
Fueled by critics during her #AskELJames debacle, E.L. James will write her second book about a young, virginal male college graduate who meets billionaire Christina Grey, and discovers her dark secret. Completely original and not at all reimagined.
Outlander’s second season will premiere, and I’ll be waiting with giddy anticipation for more fan art.
I’ll pay $12 to see Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, not understand what the hell is going on, but won’t care because Henry Cavill’s upper body and Ben Affleck’s jawline are my heaven.
In order to do penance for its weekly contributions to rape culture with Game of Thrones, HBO executives will pitch the greatest idea to come to television in years: movie adaptations of our fave Regency romances.
Regency has everything for adaptation success. Romance. Angst. The ton. Smolder. Breeches. Balls (the dancing kind). Balls (the kind attached to earls and dukes). Wallflowers. Rakes. Carriage rides that turn into trysts.
And the well of material to adapt is deep. What a joy to see my favorite Regency characters on screen. Maddy Timms finding the Duke of Jerveaulx locked in the asylum. Callie and Gabriel fencing and then taking a “break.” Derek Craven showing Sarah Fielding his gaming hell and the pleasures within. I would binge the crap out of this.
I predict that in 2016, the most popular baby names will be Star Wars themed, with a ton of adorable little Kylos and Reys. Maybe someone will even go as far as naming a baby Phasma (fingers crossed that doesn’t actually happen…!)
I will spend the entirety of the month of February reading, re-reading, and trying to Francis-Dollarhyde-style-ingest Kings Rising.
At some point during the second season of Outlander, an entire contingent of irate grandmothers will cyber bully Nell Hudson into hiding and another gang of septuagenarians will write heavily-worded TwitLongers to the real culprit, Ronald Delano Moore.
I predict that Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper will star opposite one another in yet another movie, that will of course, be nominated for an Oscar.
Outlander fans will start a petition to boycott the Golden Globes if Outlander doesn’t win in every category it was nominated for.
Similar to Carrie Jo’s prediction, I predict the only redeeming thing about Allegiant will be Theo James.
I predict 2016 will be the year Adele starts a celebrity feud with Taylor Swift by making an off the cuff remark that she wears winged eyeliner better than anyone else. Taylor will take offense, because she just can’t help herself, and the internet will explode into two teams. The Swifties will be captained by some sick kid who made defending Taylor his dying wish. While Adele’s team is obviously chaired by Matt Bellasai of drunken Buzzfeed fame. I can’t wait to watch that episode of Whine About It. The whole feud will start to die down when Calvin Harris and Adele exchange heated words backstage at the MTV Music Video Awards since no one will be able to understand them due to their Scottish brogue and cockney accent.
Or 2016 will just be the year that Adele wins all the Grammys. It’s a toss up.
We will FINALLY REMEMBER Aaron Tveit because he’s playing Danny in Grease later this month
Number of Effs we will give about Allegiant = 0 but we will tell you to watch it anyway because it’s a trilogy / quad-movie-logy that we sorta like and what else is there to do, ya know?
We will continue to make terribly-sounding but epically hilarious podcasts.
We WILL have TN meet ups. Maybe just one in Philadelphia (per my resolutions) and a party again at SDCC, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN!
That’s it! What do you predict for TN or pop culture in 2016? We can’t wait to have you along!