I’m not sure that Kaitlyn has any idea what she wants on this penultimate episode (not counting the “specials”) which made watching the remaining two overnight dates, rose ceremony and two meet-the-parents dinners an interesting experience. Here’s a real quick recap of the top moments from Monday’s episode and my gif reactions.
Ben goes Bye-bye
The episode picked up right where it left off which is to say we were still ogling Shawn in that tight baseball shirt while he yelled at Nick for no legitimate reason. After that madness was over, Kaitlyn took Ben on their fantasy date. If this date is an example of Kaitlyn’s fantasies then I think we can safely assume she’s a fan of regency era romance novels. They rode horses around the grounds of a 19th century castle, picnicked on the moors, fed farm animals and dined in the great hall. I’m just disappointed Ben didn’t arrive in breeches and a waistcoat. Honestly though, every time Ben comes on screen I double check that I’m not watching a special episode of The Brady Bunch about the time Peter went on Reality TV.
Their date seemed to go well, they have an easy camaraderie and Ben was just the sweetest with his declarations of love and reassurance that their age difference (barely 26 to her almost 30) didn’t matter to him. He agreed to stay in the fantasy suite for the “best sleepover ever” and Kaitlyn said she only got three hours of sleep because the “conversation” was so good. Well it must not have been that great, because Ben got sent home at the rose ceremony later in the episode. He was a gentleman to the end, but he didn’t show much emotion on the van ride of shame which is unacceptable. If Ben is going to be the next Bachelor (and all signs point to probably) he’s going to need to work on his leaning-on-the-balcony tears.
Ben was one of my favorites from the beginning. He’s the type of guy who would make a great husband in real life which is to say he’s just too normal and well-adjusted to be interesting on The Bachelor. I wish him
15 minutes of fame a lifetime of happiness, but seriously, ratchet up the drama for 2016. If he is chosen, may I humbly suggest revealing a childhood betrothal near the end of his season to ruin everything? I’ve been reading too many of Kaitlyn’s regency romance books again haven’t I?
Shawn sports Spanx
While Ben’s fantasy date may have been something from a romance novel, Shawn’s was something from an AARP magazine: golfing, a quick disagreement over dinner and turning in early for the night. Before the inevitable jealousy and arguing reared its head (this is Shawn and Kaitlyn after all) there was one moment of levity when Shawn lost a golfing bet and had to putt naked. While it was hilarious that Kaitlyn stole his clothes and made him run around the green with a black box covering his bits and pieces, the real laughs came when he started stripping. His shirt came off and it was glorious. Then his pants came off and it was confusing. His underwear began at the waist and ended at his ankles. He was wearing full length leggings like a lumberjack in the wilds of Alaska. I know Ireland can be chilly, but it seemed excessive. If this whole bachelorette thing doesn’t work out I hope he at least gets an endorsement deal with Spanx for Men. Shawn claimed it was “laundry day,” but I think we just figured out how he gets that perfect booty in his golf pants. I’ll be right back, off to order a pair for myself.
The rest of their fantasy date was tense as they discussed his hatred for Nick. I’m not sure why Kaitlyn keeps bringing this up. Nick and Shawn don’t like each other and they don’t need to. In fact, it would be kinda weird if they were both in love with the same girl and didn’t have feelings of animosity. Shawn accepted the key to the fantasy suite (obvi) and then left Kaitlyn the next morning seeming tense. This worked out perfectly since Nick was lurking around the corner to pounce as soon as he arrived back at his room. They argued some more, blah blah blah, we get it.
Since Ben got the ax this week, Shawn (and Nick, more on him in a minute) got to introduce Kaitlyn to his family. This meant that they were finally leaving Ireland to travel to the last exotic destination of the season…wait for it…Utah. Yes, Utah. I’m sure Utah is perfectly pleasant and beautiful, but The Bachelorette has really redefined “exotic” these last few seasons. What’s next, a trip to Target to buy diapers and sunscreen? My life is exotic too!
Kaitlyn met Shawn’s two sisters and his dad at what I can only assume was an extended stay hotel suite for lonely businessmen. They all got along very well which isn’t surprising because, Kaitlyn is the queen of first impressions. Shawn left the introduction dinner feeling secure enough to tell Kaitlyn that he’s in love with her. Kaitlyn’s reaction was weird. She seemed troubled by his declaration like she didn’t know what to do now. I don’t think I’d be feeling very confident if I were Shawn in that moment, but Shawn seemed a bit oblivious about it all. I think since the other two people on the show (Kaitlyn and Nick) are veterans of past seasons they are more realistic about it all while Shawn seems naive in comparison. It’s like he’s flinging himself headfirst into something that he doesn’t quite understand. Plus, he’s the youngest kid in a family of sisters so he’s used to being pandered to. Part of me is hoping he doesn’t get the girl at the end of the season, because his reaction will be epic.
Nick’s Family is Huge
Here’s the thing about writing recaps of The Bachelorette; I can pretty much say whatever I want because, nothing I say will ever be more ridiculous than the show itself. However, the following statement is way outside of my comfort zone. Ready for it? I like Nick now. I didn’t even shudder typing that. I’m telling you, he has seriously grown on me despite his bracelets and wind blown hair. He (and genius editing) have convinced me of his sincere feelings. Plus, he and Kaitlyn have fun together.
Kaitlyn looked genuinely nervous to meet Nick’s family. She was walking down the hallway making her own sound effects like a Cathy comic strip (think: “ack!”) and bending over like she was going to pee her pants. Well maybe she had every reason to be nervous because Nick’s family was sitting around crying just thinking about meeting her. No really, his mom and sisters were literally crying. They were nervous for him to get his heart broken again like it was after Andi’s season which seems legit, but he did sign himself for it. Again. Need another reason Kaitlyn should have been nervous? Nick has about 35,000 siblings. Just kidding he’s the second oldest of 11 and only like 6 of them showed up to meet Kaitlyn so she shouldn’t have worried.; it was just like meeting an all white CYO basketball team at your local parish. Nick’s family was very kind and welcoming to Kaitlyn, but all I could think about was how his three brothers looked like they just divided Nick’s DNA evenly amongst themselves. One got the curly hair, one got the height and the other had his weird predilection for keeping his hand over his mouth while he talks. With their powers combined they could form Super Nick and no woman’s libido would be safe.
Nick’s interactions with his big, numerous, emotional family were charming, but what really won me over to the dark side was the time he and Kaitlyn spent alone. When Nick told Kaitlyn he is in love with her her whole face lit up and she asked, “Promise?” To which he responded, “With all my heart.” Swoon. It was straight out of a Young Adult book with a movie adaptation coming to a theater near you soon. Then he said, “We should make babies someday.” Kaitlyn giggled, but I was like, “Babies plural? Get a solid number, girlfriend. That man has 10 siblings.” I don’t know what to do with these new feels, but I’m anxious to know who she picks in the end.
Next Week will be “special”
Next week is the Men Tell All special which means the show will be fun again! In the preview Chris Harrison called Kaitlyn “the most talked about bachelorette in history,” but I think Queen Elizabeth I might take exception that. We should get good updates on the guys, but my favorite part of any reunion show is watching otherwise mature grown men turn against one other in their last ditch effort for fame. Speaking of last ditch efforts, we should get an extended preview of Bachelor in Paradise. I can’t wait!
Who are you looking forward to seeing again on the Men Tell All? Who do you think Kaitlyn is going to end up with? How do you feel about Ben (most likely) being the next bachelor? Tell us in the comments!