SPOILERS BELOW! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. NOT THAT THIS ISN’T THE MOST PREDICTABLE SHOW EVER NOW.
Well, I have some news for you guys…
I’ve Watched Every Single Second of This Season!
So let’s discuss…
Mystic Grille HERE WE COME!!!!!!!
Okay, this midseason finale was sort of like, “Let’s solve some problems so we can use our more conveniently large sets again.” I for one am super duper excited to have scenes set in the Mystic Grille again and not the Is this actually a bar? bar that Liv bartends at and seems to also be located in their dorm (or something like that?!). And it’s not like I actually like the Mystic Grille, but let’s be real, it’s the one set where you know critical dialogue is gonna go down that would not be appropriate to happen in a house or the cemetary. I mean, it’s the Mystic Grille! It’s the best made from scratch set they have. I WANT THAT SHIT BACK. Call me nostalgic, whatever. We’re getting it back!
Otherwise, this finale was basically lame.
Enzo Actually needs to die or leave the show
Enzo is hot, sure, and I would be fine with him FINALLY HAVING SEX SCENES so we could see him naked and making out with someone (like, for real, CW! Let’s get on it sooner than later, thanks. I volunteer as tribute and shit. He can even eat me in the end #punintendedduh). But when Matt was all, “Imma go out of character and be all Let’s torture the dude who has been tortured for multiple decades by humans and yet for some reason isn’t into humans at all.” I was just like, ARE YOU FOR SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?! STAKE THE ASSHOLE ALREADY.
Okay, that had to be said.
If vampires cannot cure cancer, then I beg of you, pray tell, what is their point?!
Caroline’s mom is the best of the best. Remember in like season 2 when she was all committed to killing her daughter because she was a vampire, and then SHE DIDN’T?!!! Because she GOT IT and used COMPASSION not HATE to deal with a difficult situation? Remember when she totally protected all of the main characters always because she’s a good person? Remember how she respect her ex-husband’s wish to die even though that would be super hard for Caroline to handle? Remember how she did a solid for Elena like A BAZILLION times she didn’t deserve it because Elena is friends with her daughter? Remember how she covered up all the animal attacks and the fire that burned Jeremy’s body in season 4? Remember how she IS the soul of this show but you never really thought about it until right now because that’s how core she is to the show’s undercurrent?
If you’re going to kill off Liz, well, FUCK YOU, writers.
That’s all I have to say about that.
No, actually it is not all I have to say. IS THERE A REASON EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER HAS TO BE WITHOUT ANY PARENTS?!!!!! For real! What is WITH that?!!!! This is not Orphan Black Diaries!
Why is Chris Wood Always Cast as a Sociopath?
Sure you instantly recognized him as the douchebag emotional writer type ex-boyfriend of Carrie from Carrie Diaries. But you quickly were like “OMG is he gonna kill Damon?” which is of course way more important than remembering how Carrie Bradshaw banged him in his parents’ basement and then he proceeded to belittle her ideas and treat her like epic and total shit and then acted like it was her fault for still being in love with her extremely sexy and actually genuinely caring ex-boyfriend, Sebastian. But, seriously guys, Wood played a super sociopath asswipe on The Carrie Diaries, too. I guess he just has one of those faces?! How does one have a sociopath face?!
Anyway, he’s been an epic villain. Not a Klaus, because, let’s face it, no one can ever be Klaus, but pretty damn close. I’m liking it.
I’m also liking this weird blueberry pancakes thing they keep doing. I don’t like blueberries, but it’s this nice continued reminder that Damon is a murderous asshole as well.
The only thing that Kai has done so far that has SERIOUSLY PISSED ME OFF is the cliffie at the end of this mid-season finale… “Oh, I’m cloaking us. Lemme smack you, vampire who is too dense and strong to be actually taken down by a friggin’ crow bar by a person with human physical strength, with this crow bar.” (eye roll) Maybe he was using a strengthening spell or whatevs, what I’m really most annoyed about is that they’ve set up Elena as the damsel in distress again.
GUYS, YOU DID THAT PLOT ALREADY. See Seasons 1-5 for reference, THANKS.
Big Tease, Small Kiss
I’m 100% okay with waiting it out for Stefan and Caroline. They are now the only thing worth watching on this show. It’s completely different than Klauroline. It’s raw and pure and a slow, slow burn. It’s been there since the beginning and I am happy to wait. Six seasons is nothing for a shipper. I’m with Thranduil on this one…
But when it does finally happen, it’s going to be the most epic thing ever. It’s going to make the amazing Mystic Woods against the love tree sex Klauroline had look like a youthful endeavor. It’s going to be forever, eternal, soul changing, gut wrenching, perfection of a love scene. It’s worth looking forward to. It’s worth it. Even Caroline’s mom knows what Caroline really needs (because she is THE BEST and shouldn’t die). I am definitely going to happy cry when they finally kiss. Le sigh.
Need More Bromance
Damon and Alaric need to kiss and makeup real quick like because they are so much better as bromance than frenemies. I don’t think Jo is going to die, but who knows. I am at least glad that Damon is back to being his old self… violently protective of his friends in a really mewling way that everyone tells him is entirely self-centered (which often also happens to be; call him Loki and move on).
The reality is, I’m missing scotch drinking scenes in front of the Salvatore fireplace. And we need Damon and Alaric for that to be the best it can be.
See what I mean about the Mystic Grille?
Quick Bulleted List of the Best Things This Season
- Liv murdering someone so that Tyler wouldn’t activate his wolf gene
- How upset Caroline was when she told Elena that Alaric had been saved by Jo over the border of Mystic Falls
- The cinematography of the flashback Thanksgiving episode when we get to see the Parkers story and finally understand why Liv and Luke are even in this show
- When Caroline tells Stefan that she deserves better than to hate herself and that’s why she has to hate him
- When Caroline told Stefan off. She’s the actual best, you guys.
- When Elena realizes her type is heroes. And her super hot doctor buddy Liam is a hero. #yesplease
- When Bonnie sends her magic away to keep it safe
- ALL the 1994 music attention to detail
- The moment when Elena says, “Damon Salvatore is Stefan’s brother. He killed Jeremy. He’s a monster.” (I got chills)
So, who else has watched this season so far? What did you love/hate about it? How do you think this Kai storyline will play out? Do you remember when the whole plot hinged around finding The Cure? Bahahaha. Also, who is watching The Originals? Can we talk about how hot Kol/Kaleb is!!!! #unf Someone Union Jack that boy, stat.