Things are about to get romantic on Bachelor in Paradise, If you consider romance to be getting matching tattoos from a man named Chops or body painting your partner while a topless woman plays a wind instrument. Spoiler alert: both of those things actually happened this week.
The bells of Bachelor Nation tolling, because a new king has been crowned. Nick Viall is our new Bachelor.
She watches so you don’t have to!
1. Another 3 hours of Bachelor in Paradise is about to begin.
2. I can’t believe it has already been 4 weeks.
3. Why didn’t the last 4 weeks of pregnancy with any of my babies ever go this quickly?
4. Speaking of babies, we are two minutes in and Ashley is already harmonizing her sobs with ominous music.
5. It really is Paradise.
Is paradise really a Mexican resort where underfed but over-imbibed twenty somethings get paid to humiliate themselves on national television? Probably.
