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Breaking Down the Final TROS Trailer

in Star Wars on 10/24/19 by Julie Leave a Comment

This past Monday night, I discovered the following about myself:

  1. I apparently do have ESPN. 
  2. I can actually sit through a live NFL game, complete with a million timeouts, a clock that stops every three milliseconds, and so many Geico insurance and erectile dysfunction commercials.  
  3. I still don’t know squat about football.
  4. I’ll do anything to watch the new Star Wars trailer, and Disney/ESPN knows this. 

The new and final Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker trailer finally premiered, and quite honestly, we’re still not over it.  From John Williams’ sweeping and powerful rendition of the famous theme to C3PO’s emotional *possible* farewell to Princess Leia having the final word, the final trailer in the Skywalker saga, TROS is filled to the brim with such emotional gravitas, it took Janna and I just to break it down.

The Moment We Realized We Have Zero Chill

Julie: I could start this by acting like we never saw it, or texted each other about it, or spoke on the phone for almost 2 hours, or haven’t watched it almost every single half an hour.

Janna: And I will attempt to pretend that I haven’t obsessed about this thing every minute of the last 24 hours.

The Trailer

Julie: So, I know this is Star Wars, but I swear if this scene had Bella’s whole “I never given much thought to how I would die” prologue, I’d dig it. #EGBTT

Janna: Who wears white in the jungle, though. Rookie mistake.

Julie: Not only does Rey have the force, but she also has the stain fighting power of Tide Pods.

Janna:“The Force brought us together.” As FRIENDS, Finn. She’s taken by one Dark Moody Space Prince.

Julie: That’s why she’s running – she doesn’t want to have that conversation. Again.

Janna: #ShesJustNotIntoYou

He’s Back, Baby

Julie: It’s like Find Waldo, but it’s Find Lando. I love that thirty years later, he’s still rocking those capes. Never change, Lando. 

Janna: He gave up the pirate lifestyle and now does speaking engagements for dispirited Resistance troops.

Julie: Sounds like a solid retirement plan.

#WheresRose

Julie: Roooooooooose! The fact that they finally put her in the trailer makes my heart sing, and it sounds like a million little fanboys losing their shit. Here for it (but I wish she was in it more).

Janna: We stand with Rose. Best two seconds of the trailer thus far.

Can You Stand the Rain? 

Janna: I SPY ONE SCAVANGER READY FOR AN EPIC LIGHT SABER DUEL IN THE RAIN. And by “lightsaber duel” I mean…other things.

Julie: Remember when you said Rose was the best two seconds of the trailer? I may have to disagree with you. “But I do” is now the best two seconds of MY LIFE.

Janna: Did “But I do” just become the three most important words in my life?!? And maybe my text tone?

Julie: So far, we’ve got Kylo body checking, Kylo strutting, and now Kylo flipping his saber. This is my erotica.

Janna: Kylo is channeling fierce Mr-Darcy-strutting-across-a-field-at-dawn vibes. I’m so proud.

Our Palpatine Theory

Julie: Palpatine is the OG Reylo. “You’re coming together is your undoing.” Way to douse those shipping flames, Disney.

Janna: He’s just saying what we’re all thinking. Obviously Rey and Kylo come together every time. In the fanfics, at least.

Julie: The force wills it. All kidding and Reylo aside, Palpatine’s voice still gives me chills.

Janna: And not the good kind.

Julie: And seeing him again means having to see the worst dental work in cinematic history.

Get Ready to Ugly Cry

Janna: “This Christmas…” I’m sorry Jesus, the reason for the season this Christmas is The Rise of Skywalker.

Julie: Well, Anakin did come from the force and was birthed by a woman, so…Space Jesus.

Julie: I’m not ready for this. I will never be ready for this.

Janna: It’s embarrassing how hard I’m crying. Carrie, you are so missed.

Space Cowboys

Julie: I knew it! Horses did come from outer space. Look at Jannah being the boss and leading that calvary.

Janna: And Finn has finally found his calling as a space cowboy.

Julie: While all the orbs (had to look that up) have to watch they don’t trample and destroy BB-8. 

Janna: DON’T YOU HURT BB-8. He’s very rare.

Of Course We’re Going to Talk Reylo 

Julie: We’ve come to the Reylo portion of our trailer, thank you very much. Haters please exit now.

Janna: Those two people are about to kiss. 

Janna: Rey and Kylo FIGHTING TOGETHER LIKE GOD INTENDED.

Julie: I’m pretty sure they’re destroying Darth Vader’s helmet like some horcrux but they’re also destroying my emotions.

Janna: Honestly a Star Wars/Harry Potter cross over is overdue. 

Julie: Where Kylo’s the teacher of the Dark Arts, and Rey’s the newest addition to the staff. At first they hate each other, but eventually they start having a secret affair and their trysts happen during quidditch matches. I’ve been reading way too much smut.

Janna: Sneaking around behind Hagrid’s cottage like a couple of 6th years.

Julie: That. Hair. 

Janna: Whatever you feel about Adam Drivers face, you have to agree that his hair is the 8th wonder of the world.

Julie: That’s the look he gives right before he shreds another old ass Sith Lord to the ground, and when he’s ready to cuddle. 

Janna: I hope he’s cracking his knuckles in that scene, ready to defend his lady love.

Julie: With his gloves off. Or better yet, slowly pulling them off, finger by finger.

Janna: Your kink is showing, Julie.

The Rise of [Ben] Skywalker [Solo]

Julie: “Always.” And just like the Death Star, I’m completely destroyed.

Janna: I will never rise from these ashes. Gutted.

Julie: Those tears better be for Ben Solo. Forget Bendemption. I’m talking Bensurrection.

Janna: You know that sounds a lot like Ben’s E…never mind.

Janna: Again… THE MUSIC. It’s hope. It’s triumph. It’s Happily Ever After.

Julie: Always. 


What did you think of the final Star Wars trailer? Are you still an emotional wreck (but in a good way)? 

Leave a Comment

About Julie

Julie’s Current Obsessions: Sangria. Anything Outlander. Reading great books more than once. Jimmy Fallon. J Crew Factory deals. Red Lipstick. The Civil Wars (R.I.P.). Atticus Finch. Taylor Swift’s 1989. Anthropologie. Dancing and not caring who sees. Instagram photo filters. Target’s Mossimo skinny jeans. Attempting French. Men’s forearms (don’t ask). Not getting over How I Met Your Mother’s series finale. The Twilight Soundtracks (yep, all of them). Audrey Hepburn. Find her on Twitter @julep0405

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