When Clue the movie came out in 1985, it was my second favourite movie that year. (Second only to Back to the Future because Micheal J. Fox was it in 1985 y’all.) All the campiness. All the over the top theatrics. And THREE different endings! Sadly, our theater only ever showed one ending so I had to wait for the VHS version to see what who the other murderers could have been.
Nothing has ever come close to providing me with the silly entertainment of Clue (God Bless the 80s).
Until now.
May I present Rian Johnson’s Knives Out.
It’s his first film since Star WarsL The Last Jedi – which goes down in history as one of my top 3 favourite Star Wars movies of all time. The others are Empire Strikes Back and A New Hope. Don’t @ me.
Like the Clue movie, Knives Out looks like a ridiculous ride in the all right ways. There’s witting one liners, verbal banter. And then there is that all star cast.
I know very little about Knives Out except that Clue was an inspiration to Rian Johnson for this film. So until it is released in November and solely based on the trailer, I am going to recast Clue with the Knives Out cast.
Christopher Plummer as Mr. Boddy
Spoiler alert – during a family gathering, he dies under suspicious circumstances which, much like Mr. Boddy’s early departure in Clue, means everyone, from the not so nice family members to his perhaps not so devoted staff, become suspects.
Daniel Craig as Wadsworth
Although Wadsworth was the butler in Clue (played with zeal by the genius that is Tim Curry), it looks like Craig’s detective character is going to have some of the same opportunity to skulk around every corner before solving the case. I am here for his southern accent too.
Chris Evans as Miss/ Mr Scarlet
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The swagger and charm of Chris Evans scream a gender bent Miss Scarlet to me. I mean, she just oozed sexual innuendo. As much as he is MY straight laced Captain America, Evans as a smug self entitled dick is my new porn.
Ana de Armas as Mr/ Miss Green
Mr. Green kind of flies under the radar in Clue. I feel the same about Ana de Armas. I don’t know much about her so this is her temporary casting until I see more.
Jamie Lee Curtis as Mrs. Peacock
Mrs. Peacock is an the regal, still attractive impeccably dressed women who knows all and sees all. No one but Jamie Lee Curtis could play her.
Toni Collette as Mrs. White
Mrs. White has had many husbands who have all died mysteriously. I’m pretty sure Toni Collette isn’t going to put up with any crap from the men in her life either.
Don Johnson as Colonel Mustard
Maybe it’s the mustache, Maybe is the grey hair. But he just screams like an ex-military gun slinger with a grudge.
Michael Shannon as Professor Plum
I mean, don’t all professors wear an argyle sweater on the regular?
My best guess on who the murderer is?
It was Professor Plumb. In the library. With the candlestick.
Official Knives Out synopsis:
When renowned crime novelist Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer) is found dead at his estate just after his 85th birthday, the inquisitive and debonair Detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) is mysteriously enlisted to investigate. From Harlan’s dysfunctional family to his devoted staff, Blanc sifts through a web of red herrings and self-serving lies to uncover the truth behind Harlan’s untimely death.
Knives Out will be released on Nov. 27th.
