For the past few years, we have graced the Con with our presence, braving crowded convention centers, shoulder to shoulder panels, and living off of a diet that consisted primarily of Auntie Anne’s pretzels and $5 Dasani water. The sacrifices we make for all you. Obviously, this year will be no different because we’re going back to Comic Con, bitches.
Apparently, not everyone is returning to SDCC this summer. Last year, we witnessed the devastation of Marvel’s absence and an Avenger-less Hall H. To say that Comic Con felt off without Marvel is a complete understatement, but it did leave all of us even that more excited for Saturday’s Warner Bros. panel. From seeing a barefoot Jason Mamoa and his trident up close and personal to being able to airdrop into Jake Johnson’s iPhone, we were front and center for the insanity that is a Saturday Hall H panel. Of course, nothing had us more amped-up than seeing the queen herself, Gal Gadot, present Wonder Woman 1984, and it left us ready for more.
So, when we saw this tweet from director Patty Jenkins revealing the film’s poster, it only fueled our excitement for this year’s Con. Until we saw the caption…
By now you’ve heard: WB isn’t going to Hall H this year. We’re so sad to miss you there! And waiting until Dec. to start our official #WW84 campaign in full– But the truth is… we can just… barely… wait… pic.twitter.com/QllFzhYRA6
— Patty Jenkins (@PattyJenks) June 5, 2019
Um, no, Patty. We didn’t hear. However, I’m pretty sure Patty and all of Warner Bros. heard the uncontrollable weeping of nerds around the world, and it was not music to anyone’s ears.
Taking a page out of Marvel’s book, Warner Bros. is skipping this year’s SDCC. What does that mean? Well, forget seeing Gal, Chris Pine in sherbet pants, and a Wonder Woman preview. We won’t have any awkward moments with Joaquin Phoenix while he discusses The Joker whilst in character because you know that was going to happen. Don’t even get me started on my infinite sadness that there will not be a panel of Robert Pattinson discussing Batman and one of us recording him in slo-motion as he nervously plays with his hair. I can’t even…
The lack of a Warner Bros. panel leaves a large hole in the Hall H schedule. What could possibly fill that two hour chunk of time? I have a few suggestions:
Brooklyn Nine Nine
If you know me, you know this suggestion is not at all shocking.
Last year, Brooklyn Nine-Nine escaped the ninth circle of cancellation hell and celebrated by holding its first panel at SDCC. For six hours, I sat in the cramped Indigo Ballroom, enduring panels of shows I never knew existed and still can’t remember to this day, patiently waiting for Andy Samberg and crew to make their Comic Con debut.
My tenacity paid off, and needless to say, I wasn’t disappointed that I spent six hours of my life waiting for this. You know who was disappointed? The hundreds of people who were turned away by security because the ballroom had reached capacity just for this panel.
Clearly, B99 has a massive and passionate following, and it deserves a venue that can accommodate all that passion. Title of your sex tape.
With the release of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker coming this December to theaters, we’re all crossing our fingers and lighting our Carrie Fisher prayer candles that the cast makes an appearance at this year’s Comic Con. But I’m going to pull a Patty Jenkins and make this announcement:
I don’t think Star Wars will be at this year’s Comic Con.
Disney is holding their own con, D23, exactly one month after SDCC, and I’m fairly certain they’re going to save Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver for that time. I could be wrong and I hope I am, but to be honest, I doubt it. Go ahead and call me pessimistic, but I’m just emotionally preparing for my ultimate reaction, perfectly summed up by Kylo Ren:
But you know who could be at Comic Con this year? REYLO.
If you have no idea who Reylo is, you clearly have been living under a rock and had spotty wi-fi. Reylo is our not-so-guilty pleasure that romantically pairs Rey and Kylo Ren. For the past month, I have ignored all the novels sitting patiently in my Kindle in favor of Reylo fanfic, especially this gem suggested by Janna.
Imagine two hours filled with our favorite fan fiction writers, conceptual artists, and all those YouTube channels that only fuel your Reylo passion. If you can’t give me Kylo Ren body checking fools with his lightsaber…
…then at least give me Reylo.
Hating on GOT Finale
Confession time! I’ve never watched Game of Thrones. That’s right, I’m one of the six people in the world who has never seen the show. I do know that there’s a mother of dragons, there was a red wedding, and there was a lot of rape. That last part kinda turned me off from the show.
Will I ever watch it? Probably not. But you know what I will watch? Fans losing their shit over the finale. The minute after the finale finished, I casually trolled Twitter to see fan reactions, and when it came to expressing rage in 280 characters or less, people did not disappoint:
— Ambreezy ✝️😎 (@AmberK_10) May 20, 2019
You know what would be a better way to watch this fury unfold? Live in a massive convention center, with microphones and jumbotrons. The moderator could even be Brené Brown or Iylana Vanzant, or whoever Oprah has on her Super Soul Sundays to help you work through your feelings. It would be cathartic, reaffirming, and provide me hours of entertainment.
New Moon’s 10 Year Anniversary
Remember when New Moon came to SDCC, and you watched the entire live stream on YouTube with ear plugs because teenage (and adult) screams can rupture your eardrums? Remember when that guy asked Kristen if she and Rob were dating, and she gave him the ultimate RBF?
It’s been ten years since we were introduced to werewolves in jorts, Rob’s sprayed on abs (You know that those babies are going to be totally real when Batman comes out!), and Bon Iver. What better time to celebrate New Moon‘s 10 year anniversary than at San Diego Comic Con? Sure, KPatz is over and the chances of them being in the same room are just as high as this panel ever really happening, but think of all the possibilities (New Moon pun totally intended):
- Rob giving his live sardonic commentary while we all watch the bell tower/painted abs scene.
- A fan contest to see who can do the whole “October, November, December, January” stare, as they slowly rotate while “Possibility” plays over the speakers. The winner gets Bella’s original Adidas track pants and Hamlet wall poster from that scene.
- Taylor Lautner wearing the wig for the entire panel.
- The extended trailer for Face Punch – don’t lie, you know you want to watch it.
Whatever panel fills the void that Saturday in Hall H, you know we’ll be there, screaming at the top of our lungs while trying to airdrop pictures of ourselves to celebrities’ phones.