What that movie fails to show you are the educators who are also popping and locking for the beginning of summer vacation, and possibly drinking from that bottle labeled “Teacher’s Pet” that they have been hiding in the back of their filing cabinet all year long. Just joking. We don’t do that….
For many of us in education, it is the start of summer break — a time that is both well-earned and deserved — and yes, to be honest, looked forward to by teachers just as much, if not more, than their students. Any educator that tells you that they don’t like summer break or they wished it was shorter is either drunk on “Teacher’s Pet” or is probationary. Don’t worry, probationary teachers. Someday, you will earn that coveted tenure and then you will be one of us.
It is a time to recharge, reenergize, and to remember that that there is an entire world beyond your classroom — or in my case, school office — walls. (Guys! Starbucks isn’t just opened on your prep period! They have actual store hours!) However, with almost 75 days of freedom, it can be overwhelming for any school employee to make the most of that time.
In an effort to relieve that summertime blues (no such thing) and anxiety, here are just some of my teacher goals for an awesome summer.
Summer Goal 1: Sleeping Beauty
Remember how someone once told you that you should get at least eight hours of sleep a night, and then you laugh at them because you’re an educator and if you get at least four or five hours, you consider that a win? And then your laugh morphs into sobs because you’re f**king tired?
Let this be the season that you both figuratively and literally flip off that alarm clock that is permanently set to the hour of “dawn.” Of course, your internal alarm clock is a persnickety ole’ bitch who hates change and will wake you up just in time for 4 am news, but give it time because you have it.
Summer Goal 2: Fresh, Hot Coffee
As a teacher, caffeine becomes your first and possibly most prized teacher’s aide.
This summer, you’re going to do the impossible: you’re going to drink your coffee while it’s still both fresh and hot.
Forget drinking it an hour after you made it because it was sitting on your desk, dropping steadily in temperature, while you selflessly attended to your students’ academic and emotional needs. You won’t even have to endure the torture of reheated coffee.
Take the time (after you naturally wake up from the recommended eight hours of sleep) and slowly sip and relish in that cup of joe that will never see the inside of a teacher lounge microwave that hasn’t been cleaned since the No Child Left Behind era.
Summer Goal 3: Becky with the Good Hair
Did you know that it’s recommended that you leave hair conditioner on for at least five minutes? Or that there is even a low setting on your blowdryer that you should actually use to protect your hair from heat damage? If you’re an educator, the answer is probably no because who in the hell has time for that shit.
Well, the answer is you now do.
Your summer is the summer of good hair: Kiss your dry shampoo farewell because your hair don’t need it. Leave that conditioner on for the recommended time. Blow dry it on the low setting your hairdresser is always getting on you to use. Actually, please go see your hairdresser because there’s a good probability you haven’t seen each other since school started, and you know your split ends are starting to resemble your IUD.
Summer Goal 4: Your Summer Reading Assignment…
Is to not read anything with the following phrases:
- “Growth mindset”
- “Fixed mindset”
- “Professional Learning Community”
- “Formative and summative assessments”
- “Positive behavior interventions and support”
What should you read for the summer? Glad you asked.
Summer Goal 5: Have Brunch on a Weekday
Wait a minute. Brunch doesn’t just have to happen on Sundays or even just for a special occasion like Mother’s Day? Brunch could be on a random summer Tuesday?! That I could be sippin’ on mimosas on a Friday morning like a badass real housewife minus the bitchslapping and lip fillers?
Summer Goal 6: Finally Watch Avengers: Endgame, Game of Thrones, or Anything Else with “Game” in it
My fellow educators, lets face it: you haven’t been able to indulge in pop culture as much as everyone else. You’ve been on the outside, looking in while people talk about Thanos’ snap, which you probably thought was either a new Keebler cookie or a sexually transmitted disease. While the water cooler talk revolved around WTF happened to Daenerys, you were most likely googling “Who the hell is Dany?”
Make this summer your catch-up time for all those shows you added to your “My List” on Netflix, that movie everyone asked you, “Hey, have you seen this yet” but you could never say yes, the podcasts that you subscribed to but have been steadily taking up space on your phone.
And remember, when you do finally see Avengers: Endgame, and someone tells you the parts when you should pee during the three hour movie, laugh in that person’s face. You’re an educator, and you’ve trained your bladder these past nine months to take pee breaks once every five hours. A three hour film is child’s play, and you’re going to enjoy every damn minute because you’re on summer break.