At least with the new Aladdin trailer we got some dialogue, you know? While there are (very conflicting) rumors galore about what the Frozen 2 plot might entail, any comments from people involved have been decidedly vague. But this trailer isn’t going to break down itself, so I’ll do what I can to interpret. Sorry Disney, you leave me no choice but to speculate, and speculate wildly.
Elsa Trains for Arendelle Ninja Warrior
You have to admit that this scene was putting out major American Ninja Warrior vibes. If that frozen ice wave wasn’t an exact cartoon replica of the “Warped Wall” then I just don’t know what is. This was an extremely cool scene, and I can’t wait to see where it fits in. I will say, the weather is weirdly reminiscent of the storm that her parents presumably died in; could Elsa be searching for clues about them?
Anna has to collect all these Ice Coins to advance to the next level
Whatever these floating diamonds are, Anna is definitely not pleased to see them. And they themselves are a clue, according to Olaf actor Josh Gad:
If you look hard enough, this teaser poster will reveal quite a few surprises (like how pretty a snowflake is up close). #Frozen2 #November pic.twitter.com/b6WYL368zL
— Josh Gad (@joshgad) February 13, 2019
Kristoff dumps Anna to take a job as Santa’s Head Reindeer Wrangler
HE WOULD NEVER. Having watched Frozen approximately 497 times in the last three months with my 3 year old twins, I can say with confidence that a) Kristoff can GET IT, from cartoon me, anytime anywhere, and b) he’s definitely doing something heroic here, like racing to save his girl because…
Anna is trapped in Gollum’s cave
Don’t play riddles in the dark Anna, Gollum still plans on eating you in the end. Sorry, The Hobbit feels are just too intense for me to resist. This screenshot makes me sad. Why is she alone? Are all her insecurities coming back to haunt her? Did she and Elsa have another fight? Is she remembering that really embarrassing time she got engaged to someone she just met that day? Whatever the reason, our plucky Princess picks herself up, climbs up that cliff and does some Arendelle Ninja Warrior training of her own. Sorry Kristoff, maybe she’ll let you save her next time.
Elsa Sings A Song of Ice and Fire
I don’t know what it is about this trailer that constantly reminds me of other TV shows. Original content is dead, obviously.
This is Anna and Kristoff’s time traveling daughter from the future
And her name is Krianna and in the (inevitable) live action remake she will probably be played by Sophie Skelton. It’s plain as the carrot on Olaf’s face. Anna’s hair. Kristoff’s sense of fashion. DON’T FIGHT ME ON THIS. Early internet speculation says that this could actually be Elsa’s love interest (thanks to overwhelming fan support for #GiveElsaAGirlfriend) but honestly, she looks far too young to be anyone’s love interest. There are also rumors that this girl has “autumn powers”, for lack of an official term. But if you watch the video closely (and I have, ad nauseum) you’ll see that she’s watching the magic move the leaves and lift the guy into the air, and is not the source of it. But that’s okay, because I happen to know who the source is.
ANNA IS TOTALLY GETTING AUTUMN POWERS
I’m dead serious about this one, and my rationale is based 100% on the color of Anna’s hair. This image is from a 2019 calendar put out by Disney in Russia, and the trailer has now confirmed that this is the same look they’ll have in the movie. Now, Elsa has silvery hair and wears silvery blue clothing and her power is, duh, ice. Look at the Anna’s hair and clothing and compare it to the autumn leaves swirling along the bottom. EXACTLY THE SAME COLOR SCHEME, PEOPLE. I’m betting my entire spare change jar that Anna ends up with/has always had magic. But that still leaves two other characters with seasonal powers to be revealed.
Anna has secretly been an Illuminati assassin this whole time
And Elsa looks horrified. Kristoff, you’ll notice, looks mildly turned on. And that’s why he’s my favorite.
How many times have you watched the Frozen 2 Teaser Trailer? What are your wildest theories? Are you Team #GiveElsaAGirlfriend?
All images courtesy of Disney
