Snow Bride
Classic case of a super-judgmental mother who is pressuring her daughter to get married when all her daughter wants to do is run ultra marathons and talk about how it is possible to be a top athlete and a vegan at the same time. Hugh Grant’s younger brother Henry Grant (not a real thing) is clearly the male protagonist in this movie. He would very much like to be a runner but suffers from severe shin splints. He goes to all the ultra marathons and cheers the runners on by holding out cups of warm Gatorade as they pass by him. She passes by him and grabs for the cup but suffers a horrible muscle cramp. He carries her to a first aid tent and they both fall in love within 5 minutes. Her mother, while happy she’s getting married, thinks that real men don’t get shin splints so she never really approves of him.
Lesson Learned: Running is the worst.
Emily: I actually think this is one Laura would sit down and watch. Katrina Law plays Greta Kaine, who works for a TMZ-esque website. She drives up to Big Bear from LA in her “warm” LA clothes with nothing but her best friend’s wedding dress in the trunk when a freak snowstorm hits. She unwittingly becomes a guest of a famous family after being stranded. How far will she go for a story? You can watch Snow Bride on Amazon Prime Video or order the DVD.
Crown For Christmas
Clearly, this girl’s name is Mollie and Mollie works in PR. She’s new to the little known, but very rich country of GreenTreeLand. Their main export is green trees. Mollie wants to impress the King, so she suggests decorating the trees prior to exporting them. The King isn’t 100% sold on decorated trees, but he is 100% sold on Mollie. They start dating when the King’s ex-girlfriend launches a smear campaign against Mollie telling the King that Mollie actually comes from an ornament making family and that Mollie really just wants to schmooze the King into buying the very specific ornaments she demanded be used. The King breaks up with Mollie. Mollie returns to the ornament factory where a large population of orphans live for some unknown. The King overhears his ex squealing to her friend about how she broke up Mollie and him so she could have another chance at becoming Queen. The King promptly deports his ex and goes to the ornament factory looking for Mollie. He finds her, adopts all the orphans, and buys the factory. They get married and live HEA.
Lesson Learned: Don’t be so picky about ornaments on a tree.
Emily: She pretty much nailed this one. Allie (not Mollie) accepts a job to be the Governess for a Princess and hits it off big time with King Maximillian. Countess Celia expects to marry the King. Max has a big decision to make, marry out of duty or marry out of love? You can watch Crown for Christmas on Amazon Prime or order the DVD.
Verdict
Laura:
I absolutely believe that doing these hot takes was way more enjoyable than actually watching the movies. But, I also absolutely believe that anyone (Emily) who loves these movies, should be proud of that and enjoy them. In a world where the majority of the news is enough to send someone reaching for the Xanax bottle, I am a firm believer in letting people enjoy things. If you enjoy Hallmark Christmas Movies, cool. If you believe that Die Hard is the best Christmas movie ever released….well then I have one thing to say to you.
