I’ve given you hours of arrow-down-and-then-across-alphabet searching. I’ve signed up for monthly Paypal debits just so I can watch The Americans and The Good Place without using rabbit ears. I’ve added premium channels to your line up, and even told other people how you’ve changed my life with your assorted array of documentaries and period dramas. But, I’m going to have to let you go now. Sorry, but the rest of you are nothing compared to Netflix.
Because while you are still trying to sell me on Jack Ryan and The Handmaid’s Tale, Netflix is finally announcing that they are bringing me more Lara Jean Covey and Peter Kavinsky! I didn’t know what true love was, but it is surely more hours of those two in my eyeballs. And Netflix is the only one who heard my pleas and decided to dive head first into my love language: Noah Centineo gifs.
And so, Netflix, I Love You. I Still Love You. I’m sorry I’ve been dallying with Hulu and Prime (I even had that summer fling with Sling, and LORD do I regret it). But you’ve proven yourself my true soulmate. You.Get.Me. You saw my algorithm and my watch list and figured out that I would watch To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before seventeen times in two weeks, and then once a month thereafter. You knew that I would leave you for a short while because there was a new season of Schitt’s Creek on Pop, but that I would always return because … Peter Kavinksy was still there, on that lacrosse field, waiting for me to drive over. Netflix, I’m sorry I strayed.
And now, you have made the grand gesture that is sure to win the girl. That’s right: you confirmed that the SEQUEL to To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is IN THE WORKS!!! Susan Johnson, director, told the world on Instagram that the cat was out of the bag (but then deleted it), but you came alongside and let the rumor slide. It’s like you put your hand in my back pocket and twirled me around in front of the whole cafeteria. You gave them something to talk about. You love me.
And because I love you back … always and forever … I’m going to give you a little bit of advice on how to keep our relationship going from here on out. I mean, we might have hard times here and there (like when you gave me an entire second season of Making a Murderer but it was super dull and nothing happened in the end), and we should be prepared for any eventuality. Call it a contract. I will pay you $11 a month, every month, and you will make sure that this sequel is not a hack job of Jenny Han’s awesome second novel in the Lara Jean trilogy, but instead a perfect adaptation of mostly book three.
That’s right, Netflix. You heard me. You dipped your toes into the hot tub water that is BOOK TWO (PS I Still Love You) in the first movie, and you wrapped up the major drama of that book (ugh, Genevieve) quickly and succinctly. We can’t go back to that drama. And the cute epilogue with John Ambrose at the end of the credits in the first movie was just that … a cute epilogue. Let’s not go crazy with the love triangle nonsense.
THAT ^^^ IS NOT WHAT WE FELL IN LOVE OVER. HARD PASS. I will take that awesome game of murder, and the sweet dancing at the nursing home IF and ONLY IF it’s not the main drama of this film. Netflix, you’ve already proven yourself to me. Let’s not get bogged down in petty grievances. Just give me a sequel that explores the major angst of book three – Lara Jean and Peter navigating where they are going to college – with the fluff of them falling deeper in love and call it a day. Then we can truly be always and forever.
All my love,