2018 Belongs To Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend

Disclaimer: This post is not actually about Taylor Swift’s boyfriend (who’s name is Joe Alwyn, apparently). It’s actually about movies. I was looking at some upcoming films and realized that the same Nondescript Blond Chap was in ALL of them. Googling said Nondescript Blond Chap revealed that his biggest claim to fame is his relatively private, but reportedly very serious and fulfilling, relationship with The Queen of Famous Boyfriends Pop herself. He’s also an actor, with minor roles in four upcoming movies. And he’s the new face of Prada, as seen above. Nondescript Blond Chap is having a VERY good year.*

But back to the reason we’re actually here. Here are some upcoming movies that a) look awesome, and b) happen to feature the guy who 75% of T-Swifts latest album was written about.

_{*But let’s be honest, 2018 really belongs to Meghan Markle. Or as she’s now known, Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Sussex, Princess of Wales, Countess of Dumbarton, Baroness of Kilkeel. I mean really, you can’t top that.}

Operation Finale- August 29

This movie looks like the love child of Munich and The Debt, and I’m 100% okay with that. The only thing it lacks is Eric Bana having awkward flashback sex (that’s a good thing). Taylor Swift’s boyfriend appears to play a Nazi. Sorry Joe, we can’t all be dreamy, swarthy Israeli intelligence agents on a righteous mission to avenge the Holocaust.

Boy Erased-November 2

Based on a memoir of the same name by Garrard Conley, Boy Erased is the true story of a teenage boy sent to gay conversion therapy by his ultra conservative parents. Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman play his parents, and Joe plays…”Henry, no description provided”. Conley’s memoir has been praised as a “beautiful, raw and compassionate memior about identity, love, and understanding.” You’ll definitely be seeing this one at the Oscars. Move over, Call Me By Your Name.

The Favourite-November 23

Before Olivia Colman steps into the formidable-yet-sensible shoes of Elizabeth II in Season 3 of The Crown, she graces the big screen as the lesser known Queen Anne. I know nothing about Queen Anne, but apparently the rivalry between two of her ladies, competing for the role as The Queen’s Favourite, was interesting enough to make a movie about it. Joe plays the future husband to one of the ladies, but nobody cares. What’s more fun than a court full of ambitious, conniving, possibly mad ladies? The men in this movie can go home. No offense, Joe.

Mary Queen of Scots-December 7th

Besides the fact that the melodramatic, face to face verbal take down in the trailer never happened (but they were really vicious pen pals), this movie looks fantastic. I like the twofold struggle of the Queens battling each other while also having to contend with their scheming, misogynist advisers. And Joe has a slightly meatier role as Robert Dudley, Elizabeth’s favorite adviser and boy toy. But I swear, if this flick has a soundtrack from a Pop Top 40 playlist* and a witch raising Francis II from the dead à la Reign, I will throw my large Diet Coke at the movie screen. The large comes with free refills, anyways.

_{*A musician acquaintance of mine actually had one of his songs end up on an episode of Reign. I can’t fault him for that; indie artists gotta eat.}

Congrats, Taylor Swift’s boyfriend, on having one hell of a year!

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