It’s damning. It’s hard to read. And I believe her.
I don’t just believe her because I believe we should believe women. I believe Chloe because there have been rumors for years that Chris isn’t the fun-loving geeky persona he appears.
So I believe her.
I want to make that clear. I believe Chloe Dykstra’s story about her relationship with her ex boyfriend.
And yet, I’m not comfortable at what has transpired since Thursday night.
Since Thursday, Nerdist Industries has come out with a statement that,despite him being their CEO, Chris has no relationship with the company, they’ve stripped his name from their website and removed him as their founder on their company bio.
AMC has stopped “Talking Hardwick” that was supposed to air last night. All Chris’ SDCC appearances have been cancelled. And his best friend, Will Wheaton, has been skewered on the internet for asking for time to come out with a statement instead of immediately disowning him. His best friend.
I’m shocked, and I’m sure you’ll understand that before I’m ready to make a public statement about my best friend to 3 million+ people, I need some time to process what’s going on and put words to my thoughts. Thanks for listening and understanding.
— Wil ‘this account mocks fascists’ Wheaton (@wilw) June 15, 2018
The mob has attacked.
And maybe Chris deserves it.
But maybe he doesn’t.
Maybe he isn’t guilty. Or maybe he IS guilty and still doesn’t deserve to lose everything.
I’ve struggled with this post because I’m struggling with these feelings. But what I love about this community at That’s Normal is that we can talk it out. Because when we admit we feel something, we often find we aren’t alone.
And so I wonder: How can we believe women and their claims, yet not join the mob of hatred against the accused?
I have no idea.
But I know that since Aziz Ansari was accused by that girl on Babe.net, I’ve felt really unsettled that believing women has to mean that the other party is assumed guilty automatically without their day in court. And their best friend since college is supposed to disown them and announce it within hours on twitter. This isn’t a TV show. This is real life. Should Chris’ wife leave him? Should he never work again?
I don’t know. Time will tell.
But also Chris could get better and the wounds he caused could heal, and he could become a fuller person because of this experience. We seem to have a better system for murder suspects since they are presumed innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. But with all these stories from the #MeToo Culture we are in, we immediately believe the accuser’s story and SKEWER the other person, strip their legacy, remove them from websites and ruin their lives, without their day in court.
And maybe that IS the ultimate result. Harvey Weinstein will never come back from the atrocities he has committed, and he shouldn’t. Even if he makes amends and serves his time. He should never be in the public eye again. But for the mob to decide what is right within minutes of the story breaking isn’t sitting right with me.
So how do we believe women without doing that?
We probably should just believe her. And struggle with it whether you love the accused or are apathetic. We can struggle with their fall from grace and what it means for us and for the culture around us. We can talk to our friends about it, we can write our articles about, we can discuss it around the dinner table. And we can continue to believe women, while we wait for a response. And if the response is a denial, as Chris’ has been thus far, we can support the woman in her fight.
Without joining the mob.
I’m not sure what else to do.