And motherhood is really hard.
I know that because I have real friends who say it how it is. They don’t sugarcoat it. They talk about the ups and the downs and the times they wish they weren’t mothers. The times they wish they could be alone. The times they’ve wondered if they made a mistake becoming a mother. They’ve also shared the utter joys and fears and pain and end-of-the-day overwhelming LOVE they have for the humans they are raising. Mothers are incredible. But I know that motherhood is hard.
And yet I have no idea.
Because I’m not a mother.
Tully is the first movie I’ve seen that explores REAL motherhood. Here is our non-spoilery Tully review:
The Story of Tully
Amy shared her feelings about the Tully Trailer a few weeks ago. The movie starts with Marlo, played by Charlize Theron, having her 3rd child. She is in her 40s. Money is tight. Marlo does it all. She’s tired, overworked, spills the breast milk, feels utterly alone, drained, emotionless.
Concerned about her, her brother gifts her a night nanny. Her name is Tully. Tully is someone to get Marlo through the beginning stages of baby number three. And slowly life begins to change, and Marlo sees clearly again and begins to bond with her child.
What I loved about this storyline is that it didn’t do the clichè “mom and dad are too busy to have sex and therefore their marriage is falling apart” thing. And I don’t say “clichè” to belittle that- I know that IS a lot of new parents’ (and old parents’) reality, but this movie isn’t that. The couple loves each other. They don’t have sex. They ARE too tired, but they are a team. Or they strive to be.
A Night Nanny is a gift
I know someone who gifts her loved ones (sisters, best friends) a night nanny for the first month or two after a baby is born. That person is my hero. I honestly didn’t GET it until I saw Tully. But allowing you to sleep? When you’re hormonal and overwhelmed and wondering if even you should have had that baby? All the while still bleeding through adult diapers? WHAT.A.GIFT.
Tully is not only a caretaker for her baby, but she’s a friend to Marlo. She reminds her of who she is outside of the mother she has to be. The woman, the one with dreams; the lover; the friend.
I have no idea what night nannies cost, but I’m saving for one now. (I just bought 1 less taco for dinner than I normally would have ordered. So close!)
This story is not what you think
There are Tully spoilers out there, and I hope you avoid reading them. I was surprised at where this story turned. And I think the surprise really had me thinking. It was hard. Emotional. Raw. Charlize Theron plays an amazing mother.
But the story goes somewhere I didn’t see coming. It rips open this whole idea of the movie you thought you were watching and where you thought it was headed. It really makes you think about everything you saw and what exactly was going on.
Critics have a point…. ish
It is hard to talk about this last point without spoiling it, so I’m going to tell you what isn’t completely obvious from the trailer alone, but something you learn within the first few minutes. Marlo has struggled with post-partum depression. A quick Google shows me that each year, so do 950,000 other women. That is why her brother gets her the night nanny. To help her avoid PPD with her third child.
The critics say the movie makes light of what is really going on. They say the film makes her experiences seem “normal.” And I push back a little on that because I’m not sure that’s what the movie is saying at all. You have to see the movie for us to really discuss this, but if you walk away thinking that Marlo’s experience of motherhood, and her experience of PPD is “normal,” exactly like yours or like the 1 in 7 women you know, we need to talk.. There was nothing normal about Tully!
Tully is in theaters this weekend!
HEY– we’re running a Fun GIVEAWAY for Tully over in our Facebook GROUP. You can win fun masks and stuff to make your old skin look young and youthful again (or so I told myself when trying out one of the products last night!) But it’s GROUP-EXCLUSIVE- So JOIN US to ENTER!