We have only a few short weeks to cleanse our minds, bodies and souls before May 28th when Becca’s season of The Bachelorette premieres. But, don’t worry, I have some great tips to guide you through this difficult time and you won’t even have to block me on FB messenger for trying to sell you stuff after.
For Your Mind
Based on that Washington Post article everyone and their mother sent me, every time Arie uttered the words, “I love that” you lost 0.25 IQ points. Actually I have no idea what that article said because I didn’t read it; I was too busy IG stalking Lauren B (the other one) and ignorance is bliss. However, just in case we are all actually getting dumber with each passing of a rose, I’m re-building my brain waves by listening to Martin Luther King Jr. speeches performed by famous black actors. Audible is releasing The Radical King on April 3rd, marking the first time the Martin Luther King Estate has allowed dramatic reenactments of King’s words. His speeches come alive in a way I found profoundly impactful and timely. Pre-order it.
For Your Body
After thirty three years of life and three c-sections, I’m probably never going to have the body of a Bachelor contestant again. Not even if I follow Krystal’s online fitness channel and invest in Flat Tummy Tea. It’s not happening and I’m fine with that. But I’d like to be healthy enough to button my jeans even when I’m bloated and to walk in all of the political marches we keep having to plan since the future of our democracy is at risk. Can we please elect someone stable next time so I can spend my weekends napping again? I’m tired. Until then, we march and I buy new running shoes from Dick’s Sporting Goods. Sign up to March for Our Lives.
For Your Soul
You know that feeling of deep emotional satisfaction at someone else’s painful experience that you get while watching The Bachelor? Me too, it’s wonderful. It also probably makes us terrible people, so let’s work on it. One of the ways I’m doing that is through podcasts. Podcasts are particularly great because I can learn something while simultaneously drowning out the sounds of my children asking for more snacks. Self-care, am I right? I’m not a particularly gooey person, if you know what I mean, but I’m loving The Trailercast which features a therapist giving short, sweet, and life-affirming perspectives. They leave me feeling calm and hopeful, just like a Bachelor contestant in the limo on night one. Listen to it here.
Everyone Deserves a Cheat Day
I don’t know about all of you, but I feel better already. We deserve a treat after all of that self-care. Please enjoy this sneak peak of Becca’s boyfriends who were apparently made in a lab filled with all my hopes and dreams. Rumor has it that the guy second from the left is NFL free agent Clay Harbor. Suddenly I care about football, funny how that works. Oh and if you still have a few calories left in your cheat day, Ashley Iaconetti broke up with Canadian heart throb, Kevin Wendt. You heard me right, she broke up with him. I don’t know how that happened either, but I think I need to detox again.
