Consider Stuff Unicorns Love to be your intermezzo from all the heavy crap happening in the world right now. Has Fire and Fury exhausted you? Cleanse that palate—and your brain—while Jessie Oleson Moore, creator of the delightful and frank CakeSpy.com, drops some unicorn knowledge on you.
This illustrated book is precious without crossing over into cloying. Oleson Moore writes and draws with enough sly humor to keep you turning through pages of basic facts, recipes, and “unicorn-y jokes.”
When the book first arrived to my house, my nine-year-old, who loves graphics novels and comic books, took the book as her own. Since she is very, very bad at sharing with the woman who provided for her every want and need, I asked her if we could read it together. Her response, “Ugh. Fine.”
Ruby still believes in Santa and her Elf, Randy. She believes in the Tooth Fairy and somewhat in the Easter Bunny, even though she is starting to waiver on that once since eggs have nothing to do with bunnies (We don’t go to church. Don’t @ me about Jesus.)
Unicorns are a bit real to her, so this was more non-fiction than a humor book.
Unicorn poop? It’s sweet and edible.
Double rainbows? When two unicorns fart.
What do you say to a unicorn when it sneezes? Achoonicorn. GET IT, MOMMY?! Yes, dear, I get it.
Stuff Unicorns Love is a comprehensive unicorn encyclopedia. Some the “stuff they love” is obvious. Ring toss. Princesses. Cotton candy. But did you know unicorns also love fashion magazines? Unicorns don’t want florals for spring; they want rainbows for spring! And summer and fall and winter.
Did you know unicorns hate cartwheels? I mean, think about it. They also hate all hats save visors. They don’t like the show Fixer Upper. I mean, Oleson Moore doesn’t exactly state this as fact, but if unicorns hate neutrals and earth tones, I can infer they hate that Waco aesthetic.
A Unicorn Fodors
Ruby and I have had some unfortunate online run-ins with Bronies. (WHY DO MEN RUIN EVERYTHING!) So it was nice to hold an analog book in our hands, keeping this unicorn obsession from taking a creepy turn.
In addition to unicorn wants and needs, Oleson Moore offers up “Where to Find Unicorns: Destinations.” Did you know there is a Seattle bar called Unicorn that sells corndogs/uni-dogs? This is a good reason to have your baby…in a bar.
And it you want to attract unicorns or embrace the unicorn mindset in your own life, this book has the answers. Find some Lisa Frank for your vision board and say “neighmaste.”
You Gon’ Learn Today
The best part of reading this book with my daughter was the vocabulary lesson. Olfactory. Faux. Terra-cotta. Meringue. Confection. Carbohydrates. The artwork is charming, and the prose is dad gum validating. It’s not just ME that hates raisins in baked goods. Unicorns hate it, too.
Oleson Moore is a talent, who pulls off a pretty great feat with this one: engaging both a third-grader who loves glitter and tired 44-year-old who does not.