The longest I’ve ever succeeded in getting myself consistently to a gym is 3 months. I hate sweating, being in public with no makeup, my fair skin resembling a tomato. Bouncing. I like my curves; I have no desire to be able to do anything athletic except walking up a flight of stairs while having a conversation without embarrassing myself. I don’t give an eff about “workin’ on my fitness.”
I turned 30 last year. This means that my metabolism is on a steep downward slide which really means that I can’t keep living on Kraft Mac-n-Cheese and diet coke. And my job is…blood pressure raising and anxiety inducing on a daily basis. All signs are pointing towards attempt number 385 at becoming an exerciser.
I have a friend who follows Blogilates and, since I was just not getting myself out of the house when there was a windchill of -20 degrees for anything but work and burritos, I thought I literally can’t be doing worse than I am now.
I promise, she goes easier on beginners Source
Day before I start
I signed up for Cassey’s monthly calendars and downloaded the beginner calendar. These give you the exact videos you should do each day as well as a quick “start your day with…” that ranges from drink a glass of water to do 10 crunches. I have found that I’m a little more likely to follow through with exercise–and life in general–when I schedule it, so I went through my Google calendar and added the day that I was on in my “Health, because you are old” calendar–a calendar I created with the intention of tracking migraines and whatnot, because 30, but basically has become a period tracker…when I remember.
I tried to just use that new Google Goal scheduler (does anyone know how to use it in the browser?) but it didn’t take into account weekends (I was not going to get up at 5am on Saturday. Consistent sleep schedule science be damned.) or that I was leaving a week later for Christmas at Boyfriend’s parents’ house. Also, it didn’t let me add notes, like the video links or the checkmark when I finish. I don’t do anything unless I can check it off.
It was the first night in days that I slept well, so my 5:15 brain decided that it was the dumbest thing in the world to try to start working out again the week before I leave town. “No way will you do the videos on the living room floor in front of everyone. And there is no room in B’s room for me to do this. So it is an absolute waste of time to start now when I’m going to miss five of the first 28 days.” Sleep brain won.
I decided that my only options were to adjust every. Single. Calendar. Event. or delete them all. I went for option C: I did the damn workout when I got home from work. I had a wine and fondue party scheduled for the evening, so I figured it would keep me from falling asleep and flaking (sleep brain always wins!).
Day 1 of the beginner workout was Cassey introducing you to proper pilates form. I was really worried that I was going to want to punch Cassey by the end since she is smiling in every picture. I have quit videos (legit VHS’s back in the day) because the women were too encouraging. I’d rather be yelled at. Tell me to move my ass before you stick your boot up it, not that I’m a sparkly unicorn that can do anything. But Cassey seems like a genuinely happy person, not faking it to sell videos. When she said I could do three more, I was like “yeah, I can!” I did have issues with the cats thinking that I was on the floor with the intent of playing with them; when I was doing toe circles, they swatted at my foot every loop, making it even harder to balance. I bet it actually improved the core workout, having a harder time balancing. Right? By the end of the 28 minute video, I was struggling, my toe circles were very small and nearly a straight line. But I finished.
An hour later, my thighs and bum are still shaky, and though I definitely “felt the burn,” I didn’t sweat much, so I didn’t have to redo my hair and makeup for my Friday night, which means–based solely on day one–it would be a workout that you could do on your lunch break or when you really only have a half hour to spare. I’m going to try to keep at it, but with the holidays, it is going to be tough. We’ll have to just wait and see!
One Month Later
So, I finished Beginner Calendar Day 5 today.
Clearly, I am still having a hard time getting myself to follow through. Is it a self fulfilling prophecy? Get out of here with your psychology. It is just so hard when you hate moving and it is cold and I’d rather be reading.
And I don’t know if the 6 days a week schedule will help force a habit or if that is another
reason excuse why I’ve been having a hard time committing. I’ve also tried promising myself a fancy yoga mat if I finish the beginner calendar, but getting through the next 23 days with nothing between my hips and the wood floor except a throw rug is going to be ugly.
But, let me be clear: I like Blogilates; I think it is a pretty good fit for me. I don’t have to trec to the gym and back (the whole going to the gym, shower, get ready for work thing takes me three hours) when it is so much warmer in bed. It is quick–often shy of 30 minutes–so I can do it when I wake up early and can’t fall back to sleep or I can fit it in between getting home from work and making dinner. I really don’t have an excuse except I don’t wanna.
Day 6 (The Next Day, Woohoo!)
All day today, I felt my abs, but sore would be a strong word for it, which is great because I can’t use “it hurts” as an excuse. But that was yesterday; this evening’s 12 minutes of cardio, 6 minutes of arms, and stretching turned my arms into jello. This was the first day I didn’t think I could do what Cassey asked of me, the first time that I yelled “oh, fuck you” at the TV. Let me show you what she forced upon me at the end of the beginner’s video:
I spent the next twenty minutes bent over my balance ball trying to catch my breath. Tomorrow (day 7) is supposed to be the rest day of the week and I have to assume the extra ass kicking today was due to this, but, because I’ve had the last, oh, thirty days off, I am going to keep chugging along.
Who else is struggling with being a healthy adult right now? Does anyone want to take on the first 28 days with me? What are you trying that you have had luck with? Let me know and I’ll be back with either a new yoga mat or another big “I’m a loser, help me” post.