Everyone has their set list of who to shop for ever holiday season, but over the years I’ve noticed that there are a few important people that tend to get overlooked. Here’s my mediocre mom advice on who you need to add to your shopping list this month.
Your Kids’ Cafeteria Workers
Every time you send one of those plastic fruit cups to school with your son guess who gets splashed when they open it? The cafeteria worker. Just imagine imagine how many cases of carpal tunnel syndrome are diagnosed each year thanks to all the cuties they help peel and string cheese packages they open. Plus, the mess left behind by a Go-Gurt is no laughing matter.
Add them to the list.
Your UPS Deliverer
The best thing about online shopping is that you don’t have to put on pants to do it. The second best thing is that it gets delivered to your house by a kind person who hides their judgment of your barking dog and naked toddler. My relationship with our UPS guy has never been the same since that time I absentmindedly opened the door in my bra, but we’re working through it. As long as he keeps the steady barrage of Amazon prime boxes coming as I work towards l my lifelong dream of being a hermit, we’re good.
Add them to the list.
Your Neighbors
Sure, you should probably bring all of your neighbors a plate of cookies this month, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m referring to that one neighbor who pretends not to hear your kids yelling for cake pops at six in the morning from the trampoline in the backyard. It was a rough day and I’m not proud of it. Here’s a Starbucks gift card and a box of earplugs, Mr. Bill.
Add them to the list.
Your Internet Provider
Listen, I know we all pay our internet providers for their services, but think for a second about what your life would be like without consistent access to wifi. Okay now stop thinking about it, because that’s sadder than Sarah McLaughlin singing with abandoned dogs.
Add them to the list.
Who do you have on your shopping list this year? Will things ever be normal for me and the UPS guy again? Do you have any mediocre parenting advice to share? Let’s talk in the comments.
