You can’t sleep because you’re too excited about your weekend away with friends camping out for a premiere. If you eat at all, it’s in a themed-cup you got at the midnight movie screening. You have matching T-shirts. But not the ones all the “Donnas” wear when the sit smack in the middle of the front row in front of the stage. No, no, you have cool t-shirts with jokes only you and your crew get printed on them. You and your friends aren’t in the middle or in the front. You’re in an appropriate location in the theater, where you can see and tweet and live-Insta-stream, but didn’t have to show up more than an hour in advance to score your spot.
Your bedside table is full of magazines with only 1 article read. You have to buy a new rubbermaid tub to keep all your memories, souvenirs and free crap you got at the fan event that you cherish, but don’t want seen anywhere other than in a nondescript box in the top of your bedroom closet.
You’re in love— with a fandom. There is nothing more magical. From the first disappointing casting when they don’t pick the guy you want. To the moment you decided to stalk him online anyway, find his personal Facebook page, his cousin’s Instagram whose account (and pictures) aren’t private. You google stalk his mom’s house (because that address wasn’t hard to find), and you realize he is as new and green and just as excited as you are to see your favorite fandom come out from the shadows and into the public eye. And then when they finally show you the first picture of the guy in character and it is suddenly OH SO RIGHT, your love affair with him begins.
It’s fandom, man: The Good the Bad, The Crazy. It’s such a time and money waste, but it’s oh so worth it.
Until .. it isn’t.
The Chemistry Fails
Did page 312 really sound that cheesy when you read it the first time? Because on screen it looks like this:
What happened? The first time they were on film it was so much better. Or… was it? It was a few years ago… Is your memory playing tricks on you?
Your fandom got you this:
And times were good. There were meet ups across the country. There were daily chats and twitter DM groups and inside jokes that pinged your Facebook notifications every 15 minutes, 7 days a week.
But now your fandom looks like this:
And, in fact, you spend most of your time making fun of the half now missing from the crew. Understandably.
Sally left her husband to go on the road to follow the band of the guy who was in a few episodes of season 2. Samantha always joked about how her husband said she was “crazy” to leave her responsibilities behind to join her friends for the international set stalking tour, but you actually think he meant “crazy” legitimately with the things she’s been posting about her kids these days. And Stephanie is a Shipper. Ew.
Plus you muted the Twitter DM conversation months ago….
They Get it Wrong
The ONE thing they can’t mess up is the relationship though. It’s KEY in the fandom. It’s what holds it together. It’s what brings new people in. It’s what keeps your interest year after year after year.
But it’s not working. Something is off. Individually they’re good. They shine in scenes with others- with THE other, The third wheel, the secondary “love interest” that never had a chance but was brought in for the drama of it all.
The chemistry is THERE and not with THEM. They DON’T GET THEM right!
You’re not angry… You’re just… disappointed.
Just kidding. You’re F*ing pissed:
It’s not interesting
But okay, okay, you’re in in too deep. You can’t view your fandom like you’re just an average participant. So you talk to one. They like it enough. They look forward to the next time they see it on screen. So you give it another chance.
You forget your preconceived notions, the fact you know where his mom lives, the picture you dug up from his 6th grade dance that never got punished in the tabloids, the latest celebrities who got involved in a shipper feud. You watch it with new eyes— of a virgin, a newbie, a non-book-reader.
Oh my god, its so boring.
No… it’s worse… It’s BAD:
Why are you in this fandom, again??
Are you over this fandom? Yes or No.
This post inspired by a fandom, in fact, multiple fandoms. You might think you know which one I mean. You might be right. But in my recent years, there are multiple tv shows, movies and books that have made me feel this way. They have me questioning whether or not I should turn in my fan card… before the disappointment I have surrounding the fandom completely ruins everything I loved about it in the first place… Can you relate?