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There’s a chance that by the time you’re reading this, we could be continuing with life as is or we could be completely annihilated because of nuclear war with North Korea. Once again in an effort to whip out and measure their nukes, two megalomaniac leaders with overcompensation problems are playing fast and loose with the lives of their citizens.
On the one hand, my student loans will be obliterated. On the other hand, so will I and everyone I love. I’d rather refinance my loans, pay the minimum monthly payment, curse my decision to return to school, and refinance again than hide in my refrigerator ala Indiana Jones in that abysmal fourth installment.
So with the threat of imminent doom looming over our heads, am I taking this moment to look back at my life and all of my accomplishments? Hell no. I’m thinking about what I need to do before I hide myself among my almond milk and left over Thai food.
It’s the maybe/perhaps/could be/probably not/highly unlikely end of the world as we know it, and I feel basic and made an end of the world bucket list.
I love everything about Paris. Having been there twice, I’ve done the tourist must-haves: been to the top of the Eiffel Tower, stood underneath the Arc de Triomphe, climbed the steps of Sacre Coeur, and ate my weight in croissants.
But what’s the one wish I have in my bucket list? To actually live in Paris.
Think Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina, Mia in Sweet Filthy Boy, Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, and every college kid taking a year off after graduation and “finding” themselves in Europe.
Imagine opening up your apartment’s terrace doors and seeing this view…
…with this man whom I will never get over…
…holding a box of these…
Plus, I would forever have the right to casually mention in any conversation, “Well, when I lived in Paris…” The subsequent eye roll from others would be worth it.
Beggars can’t be choosers, and I would love to be a studio audience member on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon on any weekday that ends in “y.” However with this being my bucket list, I’m going big:
I want to be there when JF and JT rock the permed wigs and braces, all the while harmonizing some sweet 90s a capella and trying to keep a straight face. My hope is that Keegan-Michael Key stays on as Mr. Fletcher and we get more GIFable moments like this:
I react the same way when I earn my free Starbucks reward drink.
It was just a few weeks ago that Team That’s Normal strapped on our badges, packed our hand sanitizers, braved poorly padded seating, and screamed like little fangirls when this happened.
Ryan Gosling just waved at Beth and Julie. Our babies are due in the spring
— That's Normal (@Thats_Normal) July 22, 2017
Unfortunately, it was another Comic-Con year that we were unable to get into the coveted Entertainment Weekly Comic-Con party, the end of the con bash that almost every single celebrity and then some attend.
Here’s just some of the reasons why That’s Normal needs an invite to this party:
Since this is my bucket list, I would also like to make other parts of our body become best friends forever but we have to start somewhere. We’re not heathens.
So, you’re probably wondering, “That’s it?! Where’s the walking on hot coals, the sky diving strapped to a man named Blaze, or even dining and dashing at some five-star restaurant?” Honestly, all of that doesn’t sound the least bit appealing to me. That’s the beauty of a bucket list – there are no rules and there’s definitely no timeline. So, will I wait until some sausage fingers presses a red button?
Get ready, Dornan, to feel my face.
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