I have text messages filled with Jessisms or the tao of Schmidt.
Randomly click on any of my past posts, and chances are there will be some type of New Girl gif.
A gif for all occasions: PMS, going to the DMV, being invited to a lady’s boot camp class, etc.
The past six seasons have given us the douchebag jar, moonwalking away from uncomfortable situations, the still inexplicable True American drinking game, pogos, and a bevy of Mad Lib style one liners including but not limited to, “I’m only attracted to guys who are afraid of success and think someone famous stole their idea.” We’ve learned that a “No Nail Oath” is necessary in a roommate agreement, a “sex fist” is a powerful metaphor for friendship, there are fridge people and toilet people, and that Prince was actually magical.
Unfortunately this past year, New Girl lost some of that adorkableness that made us all fall in love with Jess and company. Sure, we got to see Schmidt and Cece’s first year of marriage, Winston find Ferguson a mommy, Nick finally finish his novel, and that there are actually two Winstons living in the loft.
But this year also had a few bumps in the road, especially with Jess.
From pining over her unrequited love for Nick for the entire season to essentially becoming the reluctant sister-girlfriend to that dumpster fire of Nick and Regan’s relationship, Jessica Christopher Day started to stray from being that girl who used both her brains and her heart to being a Ross Gellar caricature. Yes, her breakup with Robbie was hilarious and could have resulted in some genetic mutations (see the episode and you’ll know why), but those Jess moments that we love were unfortunately too few and far between this year.
Now, if you’re a die hard NG fan, and you’re preparing to send me blankets with expletives crocheted throughout, drop the knitting needles: I’m still a fan. My ass was religiously planted to my couch every Tuesday at 8pm and the series is always within the top five of my Netflix’s “Keep Watching.” In my opinion, the show, like any other strongly constructed series, is having a slump. We all know those slumps: when people ask us for our binging recommendations, we give them a list of options and some of those are sometimes followed by, “Except season [blank]. That wasn’t a good year but then it got better.” And that’s how I feel about New Girl. They’ve just hit a slump season.
So while trolling the internet, I happened to stumble upon this TV Guide headline: “New Girl‘s Season 6 Finale Feels Like the End.” Show creator Liz Merriweather has since said that it all depends on the network to decide the show’s fate and that the season 6 finale could well be the series finale, which the writers had in mind when penning the episode.
So, while we wait for the fate of New Girl, let me go on record with this declaration:
I’m not ready to say goodbye to Jess, Cece, Nick, Schmidt, and Winston.
New Girl is one of those shows that the final curtain call shouldn’t be a rush delivery in a single episode. So, here’s just a few reasons why we need to see another season of New Girl.
Be warned: there’s a few spoilers from this week’s finale.
Jessica & Nick
Unlike other series who draw out the inevitable hookups we all root for (see Ross and Rachel in Friends, Carrie and Mr. Big in Sex and the City, Bert and Ernie in Sesame Street), New Girl didn’t waste anytime making Jessica Day and Nick Miller cross the line from roomfriends to naked friends, and that hookup gave us perhaps the hottest kiss in broadcast television history:
With their breakup in season three, Jess and Nick maintained that chemistry that made us wish for a reconciliation. This week’s finale finally gave us that reconciliation in literally the last minute of the show.
But the elevator kiss to Lorde’s “Green Light” isn’t enough. We’ve been rooting for this couple for almost three years, and a five second kiss isn’t enough. This fan wants to see how the relationship will be different from the last go around. At the very least, we need to know whether or not Jess and Nick finally get “The Captain” right.
Remember in the first season when Cece worried she was pregnant with Schmidt’s baby, or in the second season when, in a rare dramatic turn, she found out that her baby oven didn’t have an extended warranty?
Well, it looks like there’s still some life in that oven. That’s right: Cece and Schmidt are going to have, in Schmidt’s words, “a caramel miracle.” Finally, Schmidt is getting his Mordecai.
But if Schmidt as a groomzilla was quite a sight to behold, Schmidt as a daddy-to-be is going to be epic. And that is why we need one more year: we need to see Schmidt and Cece going through those baby classes that teach you how to wrap your child like an oversized burrito, registering for only the “baller” of diaper disposals, be there to welcome Baby Schmidt and see if the child really did look like this:
Prank Sinatra’s Comeback
He’s had sympathy PMS, strips down to his briefs when he’s nervous, takes professional photos of his cat and shows them off proudly, and rocks floral and tropical button downs that would make any eighty year old Floridian jealous.
Winston Bishop was that character that made you shake your head in either confusion or in sympathy because we’ve all been Winston at some point.
This past season, Winston finally got his happily ever after with Ally, had his divorce finalized – we think, and found his dad. But let’s be honest: we need one more season with Winnie the Bish, if for the only reason is that the man needs to finally discover his prank sweet spot.
Whether he was putting a badger in an air vent or a secretly putting a feather in someone’s shoe, Winston deserves another year to get his pranks just right, and we deserve another year to laugh at them when they go horribly wrong.
What the Eff is True American?
Here’s what we know about True American: it requires you to have a somewhat basic knowledge of American history, alcohol is necessary, and it could sometimes result in making out or losing clothing.
And that’s it.
You just can’t end a show that inspired a drinking game where the rules are still an enigma. Fox, make America adorkable again: renew New Girl and give us the gift of True American.