Dudes will mansplain about anything, but they especially mansplain about things they consider to be exclusive to the realm of men. Harley Davidson motorcycles. Major League baseball. Risk by Parker Brothers. Game of Thrones.
Game of Thrones is a lovely case of mansplainers mixing with a rabid fandom. Read the comments on any GoT recap. Those people are dickishly crazy. They obsess about the books, and they obsess about how you are dead wrong when you question anything the showrunners do. Think GoT is too rapey and violent for violence sake? Shut up, honey! That’s how it was back in those days!
Outsplaining
Outlander has lots in common with Game of Thrones. Multi book series. Love. Epic stakes. Gore. Rape. That dragon Murtagh kills in Voyager.
They both have very loyal fandoms. Some of us in the fandom love the escape of Outlander. Some in the fandom seem to have escaped reality for their love of Outlander. They are knee jerk. They are unwelcoming. They are right and you are wrong and they will tell you why. Bless their hearts. They are OUTSPLAINERS.
How can you spot an Outsplainer? They start every internet reply to other fans with two words: WELL, ACTUALLY…
We’ve all encountered that humorless fan. They know the books better than you do. Because they know the books better than you do, they know the show better than you do. Maril Davis once retweeted them.
They are so literal. When I say Jamie is a donkey dick, I don’t literally mean he has become a flacid ass penis. When I say that the Murtagh should just kill Bonnie Prince and you tell me why that’s a bad idea and your argument contains references to Prussia, the Great Famine of 1317, and the Treaty of Utretch, you are courting epic side eye.
So to all the Outsplainers out there, get off my jock. Stop ruining the fun.
Well, actually…I’ve read all the Outlander books
I’ve read all the Outlander books. TWICE. I’ve rekilted. I bought MOBY in hardcover the day it dropped. I know the books (well enough).
But when we are talking about the TV show, I only care about what being presented on screen. My critiquing the TV adaption does not diminish my love of the books. I shed real tears at the end of Dragonfly in Amber. Like, Where The Red Fern Grows kind of tears! Like Me Before You tears. (Okay, that’s a lie. No book tears can compare to the saltwater snot show I was during and two weeks following Me Before You.)
Well, actually…Claire ain’t perfect
You are not Claire, and when I’m criticizing her character, I am not criticizing you (or the author). You are not perfect, and neither is she. Diana wrote a great character in that she is fallible, smart, dumb, loving, and frosty. It’s what makes CBRF compelling. It’s fine to speculate on a Claire’s motivations. It’s fine for someone to think Claire sucks, because sometimes she does.
One of my favorite characters in all of literature is Humbert Humbert and that guy is…well, actually…he’s a pedophile rapist. Just refrain from “well, actually”ing me because you think Claire is Jonas Salk and I’m like, Nah. Most of the time we know what’s going on in Claire’s head, because she is telling us in that annoying voiceover. You might think you are plugged into this made-up woman’s frontal lobes, but probably not.
Well, actually…Climate change is real and it’s man made
Just thought I would randomly throw this in here:
- facts from NASA
- facts from National Geographic
- facts from CBS 60 Minutes
- facts from Scientific American
Well, actually…don’t be smarmy
I think anyone commenting on the internet and social media today should read this 2013 Gawker post On Smarm by Tom Scocca.
What is this defining feature of our times? What is snark reacting to?
It is reacting to smarm.
What is smarm, exactly? Smarm is a kind of performance—an assumption of the forms of seriousness, of virtue, of constructiveness, without the substance. Smarm is concerned with appropriateness and with tone. Smarm disapproves.
Smarm would rather talk about anything other than smarm. Why, smarm asks, can’t everyone just be nicer?
Well, actually…Are you entrenched? Unclench
If Outlander is your Bible, don’t be St. Paul. Do you know who St. Paul says “Well, actually…” to? Jesus.
Well, actually…don’t let this be the hill you die on
Outlander on Starz is just a TV show. Other TV shows include Fuller House, Two and Half Men, and Mr. Belevedere. Perspective!
There are so many better issues to lose your shit over. The oxford comma, the incorrect use on nonplussed, or friends who will vote for Donald Trump.
Well, actually…let me enjoy the show….
…even if I am sometimes hate watching it.
Enjoy the show but don’t ruin it for others. Not everyone has is Outlander peak fitness level. Not everyone likes to vote on internet polls. You love Outlander? I love the Real Housewives. We all have our thing. But I don’t get online and reply to someone who thinks that Skinnygirl tastes like garbage with, “Well, actually…Skinnygirl margarita is refreshing and one whole bottle gives you a nice buzz for at least 25 minutes.” Let me live!
Don’t Outsplain to me. Let me #poutlander in peace if I want to. If I’m incorrect on something factual, correct me. I can handle it. But don’t try to drown out differing opinions with your “Well, actually…”
Now go and have a great day, you maniacs!
Have you encountered an Outsplainer within the Outlander fandom? Have you been an Outsplainer yourself? Will one of you buy me a “get off my jock” t-shirt?
