But no one tells you that long after she has died when unspeakable grief turns into normal everyday life and you’ve moved forward without her, that you could spend an evening in tears because a Samsung commercial features text messages from Mom that you could see your mom sending had text messages been a thing when she died. And that a great lunch break can be ruined when you find an email telling you what mom really wants for Mother’s Day is a gift certificate to have her hair removed from your local wax center. And that you’ll laugh so hard at the absurdity of it that it makes you cry. And that after 10 years it still hurts.
I hate Mother’s Day for me. I hate Mother’s Day for my three sisters.
But I love Mother’s Day for my sister Abby who now has a beautiful reason to enjoy the day because of the most adorable 2 year old boy in the universe. Plus she’s growing what is sure to be the most spoiled baby girl our family has ever seen. And we’ve seen a lot of baby girls.
I hate Mother’s Day for the childless women who want to be mothers. And for the mothers who have lost children.
But a few weeks after a holiday I dread every year, comes one I like: Father’s Day. We get to celebrate my dad- who was left with the task of raising one girl just on the cusp of adulthood, 2 teenagers and an 11 year old. Alone. Oh it wasn’t perfect – far from it – but my dad deserves celebration. I love Father’s Day for me.
A photo posted by Bekah Buttons (@bekahbuttons) on
But I hate it for the fatherless.
I hate it for my friend whose father chose her step-mother over her her entire life.
I hate Father’s Day for my step-brother and step-sister who don’t have their dad around to buy “The World’s Best Dad T-shirt” for anymore.
And for my friend whose father’s stroke has made him a shell of his former self.
I hate National Siblings Day (actually who doesn’t?) for my friend who has lost both of her sisters. And for my aunt who lost my mom.
I love National Siblings Day because there is nothing, nothing better than being the oldest sister to three amazing incredible girls.
And it’s pretty incredible that we’ve been blessed with a step-brother and step-sister who have felt like family since the beginning.
I hate Mother’s Day. For me. And for you, if you hate it too
But I love it for my oldest childhood friend who has been dreaming of being a mother since we were little girls and who finally has a baby in her arms this Mother’s Day.
This Sunday, celebrate your mom if you’re lucky enough to still have her. If you have kids, celebrate them because they made you a mother. I’m going to shower my sister with love, cry for my mother, and think about all the women in my life who have helped shape me the past 10 years without my mom.
Know that I love your Mother’s Day, but I hate mine.
Happy Mother’s Day xo
PS: Here are some great Mother’s Day Reads I’ve read this week