Today marked the first weekday after Daylight Saving Time began, so I can’t remember if I polished my sun dial correctly, or if I ate lunch at 4pm or 10 am, but I do know that it’s less than four weeks before Outlander is back on Starz. We are rounding the final bend in Droughtlander, and while that metaphor doesn’t hold up at all … our anticipation does. Especially with these new stills from the final, emotionally-frought eight episodes.
If you’re new to the Outlander universe, you really have no idea what’s in store for you during this last half of season one. If you thought that moment with Frank at the stones was tough, trust me when I say that Craig na Dun isn’t weathered by the rain … it’s weathered by the tears of fangirls everywhere for the scene coming up around episode 11 or 12.
In order to prepare you, I thought I would do a pre-release recap in the vein of My Top Ten Moments … for your emoshuns. So you can take your heart pill and synchronize your wine intake per episode based on the amount of feels you have coming up. Call your therapist, make your appointments now. It’s gonna hurt SO good.
My Top Ten Emotions from the upcoming part 2 of Outlander, season 1*
*The first one is frustration that there isn’t a shorter word/moniker/name for “season 1, part 2” because every post title is long as hell when we talk about it. COME UP WITH SOMETHING CATCHY and SEO FRIENDLY PLEASE, KTHX.
1. Ego-Dystonic** Attraction
… to this sexy bastard. You know it’s wrong, you know Black Jack is a total dillweed, but you’re so Tobiased™ that your body is not listening to your rational self. He’s saying cruel and horrible things, making unwanted overtures and generally not giving two shits about consent, but you find yourself wanting to drown in his laugh lines anyway.
**Don’t know what ego-dystonic means? Trust me, it’s a thing. This is just like that time I introduced everyone to the word frottage, and you were all WHERT in the comments, and then Diana mentioned it was going to be a chapter in MOBY and you all acted like you knew what it was. You didn’t. But you could’ve googled it. Ego-dystonic.
2. Total Uncomfortable Squicks
… because this guy is the grossest.
Oh man, just look at his lascivious little lecher face. YUCK. Be forewarned, in episode 10, this grossness is gonna pop up and ruin your damn day. Jamie’s gonna be all magnaminous and try to make him sound like a kooky friend of the family who makes you call him Uncle Sandringham, but there’s no escaping how uncomfortable the Duke will make you. MOUSE VOICE FOR THE LOSE.
3. Totally Kvelling
Kilts, what? BUTTONFLYS.
I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m All About That Buttonfly. Kilt flips bedamned. I’ll take a near to bursting buttonfly any day. And Godblessit, Jamie is rocking breeches in part 2 LIKE A BOSS … or a non-Scot or something.
4. Abject Umbrage
… because this slore is back and she did NOT have a good Spring Break.
You can almost see the director telling her, “Really tap into whatever blackness you have in your soul for this scene. Look for that inky abyss that you avoid at all costs just to sleep at night. Just the absolute worst parts of yourself will be fine.”
5. Warm Fuzzies
… because Wee Jamie and Claire are being totally adorable. And I’m a mom, so I get Mommy Feels super easy.
But I’m pretty sure it’s not just me. If y’all’s reaction to Wee Roger was any indication, tiny children with adorable accents are essentially Outlander Fan Kryptonite. If Wee Jamie asks for cookies in a Scottish accent, I expect swoons. If he jokes around with Jamie IN GAELIC? Well, fandom implosion.
6. Anticipatory Giggles
… because I cannot wait for what Blurtlander has to say about this scene.
I’m gonnna go out on a limb and say that it will be something about why she couldn’t go #2 nearer the trees.
7. Awe and Wonder
… at the mystery and glory of life coming into the world.
… and at how Jenny is supposed to be 9 months pregnant here but still has a waistband. #GetTheOutlanderAnatomyGuyOnThisOne #ICallShenanigans
8. Unnamed Emotion
… because I think you are all familiar with this one, pervs.
I’m just gonna leave this here.
With a few quotes from the book:
“Well, if you’ve no claim on me, Sassenach, I’ve one on you!”
“I want ye so much — I can scarcely breathe. Will ye have me?”
“Aye, I mean to use ye hard, my Sassenach.”
THAT WAS JUST ONE SCENE, y’all. Good God.
9. The Full Gamut of Human Feeling
… because this scene at Craigh na dun is gonna kill us all.
Someone wipe me up off the floor now. Or leave me there until the Craigh na dun scene in Dragonfly in Amber. DEAR GOD, RON MOORE, WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS SHOW??????!?!?!?!?!?!?
10. aaaaaaand Right Back to Consternation
… because apparently the problem with Jamie’s Hair is that they paint it on.
This is not the way to fix the show’s greatest weakness. Try a hair dryer + flat iron combo.
What scenes are you looking the most forward to when Outlander (finally) makes it back to our TVs in LESS THAN FOUR WEEKS!!!!