He followed a fan!
(Or at least accidentally followed a fan. But whatever. No take backsies!)
But like the smooth Scottish silkie he is, there’s a Heughan catch: he will only follow a fan for a week, and that winner gets to nominate the next “Sam Heughan’s following me? Oh, shit yeah! Suck it, ladies!” fan.
Here at That’s Normal, fueled by the occasional Sam response drunk tweet, we are throwing our Etsy knitted Claire infinity scarf into the Twitter ring, and are ready for Sam Heughan to be one of our followers.
Seven. Whole. Days. It had us thinking: what would we Tweet to Sam for seven days? What pearls of wisdom could we impart to him? What Outlander gossip could we squeeze out of him? What hashtag would convey our fluctuating feelings about his hair?
It took God only seven days to create the earth. Imagine what we could do to Sam in seven days.
The endless possibilities made me want to drink too, Claire.
And then we had this epiphany: #HowtoloseSamin7days
So, here is my seven day Twitter proposal for That’s Normal to become the next bitches who tweet Sam everything and anything.
Sam Heughan (and quite possibly, Twitter) will never be the same again.
Day 1: Peakin’ with Heughan
Okay, we need to start off our seven days in Twitter heaven with a hook, something to show Sam he’s found a kindred spirit. And just like any new relationship, we’re going to fake it before we show him the real us.
What better way to spark that Twitter love then to tweet about #MyPeakChallenge to him every hour on the hour.
Oh, Sam. For the past few months, you have invited every single one of your Twitter followers to join you to reach some type of peak. Teased us with vows of simultaneous peaking. Made many a followers grab a gym towel to wipe off the sweat watching you do squats.
It’s our turn.
Here are just a few of day 1’s tweets to Sam Heughan:
Hi Sam! So, tell me more about reaching our peak together. #Ourpeakchallenge
Sam, what are some positions you would use to help me reach my peak? #peakingtogetherisbetter
Hey Sam, can you show me the proper stance for squatting. Preferably without a shirt? Perhaps in a kilt? #bearstrengthposition
Sam, ponytail while working out? More, please. Thank you. #takenoteOutlanderstylist
Day 2: Sam, Do You Want the Number of My Hairdresser?
Our ever growing frustration over Sam’s hair is nothing new at That’s Normal. Whether is was Talking Outlander‘s commiseration over Jamie’s Scottish Hobbit hair, the countless tweets pleading for hair resolution, or making sense of the highs and lows of one man’s coif, we just want hair closure.
Day 2 of #HowtoloseSamin7days is our chance.
Sammy (We have seven days! Of course we’re going for nicknames.), remember this? Because we light candles in its hair memory. #RIP #Seeyouatthecrossroads
And then I would add every single crying emoji I could find.
SH, your bangs should never be so high that they can act as a sun visor. #Flowbeethatshite
Day 3: We Were Promised 1989
The minute Sam Heughan burst on the tartan scene, fans clamored to know more about him. He likes peanut butter! He hikes! He likes Lord of the Rings!
Then came his Twitter worship for the relatively unknown (at least to a majority of US citizens) Scottish band We Were Promised Jetpacks. And bam! Sam’s followers became Jetpackers. (Trademark, Julie. I’m pretty proud of that.)
I don’t have a problem with fans broadening their musical tastes by following what their favorite celebrity likes. Some of my favorite singers and bands found a home in my playlists because of the Twilight soundtracks. (Shout out to Kristen Stewart. I will forever be indebted to her for Iron & Wine.)
I just see day 3 of #HowtoloseSamin7days as an opportunity to give back to Sam.
So Sam, you gave us We Were Promised Jetpacks. I give you the gift of Taylor Swift lyric tweets. Thank me later with a DM of a shirtless picture.
Hiya Sam. Quick question: Do the playas really play, play, play, play, play? Just wondering.
Want to know my favorite time of year, Sam? Back to December.
Oh, Sam. I knew you were trouble when you walked in. So shame on me.
FYI, I can make the bad guys good for a weekend. #hinthint
Day 4: It’s All About Tobias
This one’s for all those on Team Tobias.
Thank you, Twitter, for closing in the degrees of separation between That’s Normal, Tobias Menzies, and this adorable/kissable/lickable laugh lines.
Sure, we could spend our day tweeting Sam about fingering almond butter, bathing in whisky, or finally answering the one question that has stumped so many in the fandom: Does the carpet match the dyed drapes?
Or, we could tweet him endless questions about Tobias.
Does Tobias smell like I think he does: a natural pheromone of male mixed with longing?
When Tobias kissed you, did he make you feel like the only girl in the world?
Can you get me an invite to his next hotel room one man show?
Day 5: Princess for a Day
Who are we to neglect the made-for-television cinematic masterpiece: A Princess for Christmas?
Hey Sam, would you sign my online petition for Hallmark to green light the sequel: A Queen for Halloween?
Did you choreograph your own dance routine? #PleasetweetNo
Did you get to keep this sweater? I hope so. #Bringingbacksweatercardigan
Would you consider doing a crossover with Anne Hathaway: The Princess Diaries for Christmas Special?
Day 6: Hi, Sam. We’re That’s Normal, and We’re Effing Awesome
We have seven days with Jamie Fraser, a man and a series that That’s Normal has devoted an entire section to. There are currently (yes, I counted) 94 posts devoted to Outlander on the site. Eight hours of Talking Outlander on YouTube. #Droughtlander sparked #HangOutlander, helping fans gently ease into the absence of Outlander until April 4th. One word: Blurtlander.
You bet your sweet arse that we’re going to plug That’s Normal. To Sam and all his 110,000 followers, get ready to have your world rocked.
Sup, Sam. Want to see some sexy women drink wine in the middle of the day and expound on Jamie Fraser eye effs? #TalkingOutlander
Sam, you look like you need a friend. Have you met Blurtlander? I think it would be the start of a beautiful bromance. #Guylove
Hi pal! Having trouble finding gifts since now you’re making more money and no longer have to make your own “Get A Hug from Sam” coupons for friends and family? How about TN’s Guide to Gifts That Don’t Suck? #Iwouldstillacceptthecoupon
Have you ever thought, my Scottish eye candy, “I wish there was a place for me to express my love for best sellers/YA/fantasy/erotica/just amazing books“? We are your people, Sam. Come join us.
Day 7: Fine. Here’s Outlander
Some of you may be asking, “Um, seriously? Not one day devoted to asking Outlander questions?”
Have no fear and don’t get your Claire wedding dress in a twist. Day 7 of #HowtoloseSamin7days is the go big or go home and finally finish The Fiery Cross that you’ve been putting off for the past month.
It’s all about Outlander!
However, I’m certain Sam gets hundreds of Outlander tweets everyday. And most likely he’s under contract not to reveal spoilers. (That’s what DM is for, Sam! I would send you cool shit back if you’re wondering.)
Rather than the typical questions – What’s going to happen in the second half? Is Jamie going to save Claire? Will Claire’s nipple still be intact? – let’s just get to the real dirt of the series.
Hello Sammy Boy, last day. Here we go: Truth. How drunk and/or naked did Mrs. Fitz get at the staff Christmas party? #Whiskyeggnog
She did this to just about everyone.
FMK time! Frank, Jack, & Tobias. Go! #Hardtochoose
#IdontwantspoilersbutIneedaJamieassnumbercount #Preparingmyself #Ihaveanofficepoolgoing #Iput$20downon7assshots #AmIclose?
Do you look at Cait and think, “Yep, I’ve seen your nips.”
When you film a love scene, are the set technicians required to play “My Heart is a Jungle” over and over again to set the mood?
How would you lose Sam in seven days? Leave us a comment or tweet us your ideas using #HowtoloseSamin7days!
