No, it’s not New Year’s Eve.
Entertainment Weekly announced their pick for Entertainer of the Year!
And the award goes to my fantasy husband, Jimmy Fallon!
Now, it’s no secret that my Fallon Love makes me just a teensy bit biased. (I may have spent a full minute during my turn at the family Thanksgiving prayer giving thanks for Jimmy. I’m not ashamed, dammit.) But am I a one woman campaign juggernaut on a quest for Jimmy Fallon Global Domination?
Hell no! I have backup:
Over 17 million Twitter followers. 2.4 million people subscribe to his Instagram account. (Is it too much to ask that I be one of the 36 people he follows? I post cool shit, Jimmy!) The Tonight Show’s official YouTube account has over 5 million subscribers. The sales of tight white pants, bowl haircut wigs, and turtleneck t-shirts have risen. Okay, this last tidbit may not be accurate. But if it is true, let’s just hope that he’s the real reason.
Some of you may be asking,
“But why Jimmy Fallon as Entertainer of the Year? Isn’t he just a late night talk show host?”
First, let me just pick myself up off the ground because the severity of those questions just made me face plant.
Okay, where to begin?
His charisma. His engaging demeanor with his guests. (Who else could have a breakdancing conversation with Brad Pitt and ask Barbra Streisand for singing advice?) His hot sax skills that would make Kenny G. proud.
Need more? Then here’s just a sample of the best from Studio 6-B in 30 Rockefeller Center.
His Etiquette Lessons
James, could I get some thank you note writing music please?
Piano music softly plays.
Thank you, Jimmy Fallon, for refusing to believe the art of letter writing is dead, and letting me realize that I should give thanks rather than get peeved off when the barista at my local Starbucks continually writes “John” on my grande peppermint mocha instead of “Julie.”
Also, thanks for becoming the host of The Tonight Show instead of doing a sequel to Taxi.
The Art of Lip Synching
We’ve all done it. In our rooms, alone, blinds shut so no one can see us. In our cars, stopping ourselves at congested red lights, acting like you’re talking on a hands free phone link in your 1990 Toyota Corolla. (You’re not fooling anyone! It doesn’t even have a CD player.)
That’s right. I mean lip synching.
Only Jimmy Fallon could take my 2nd grade talent show act and create a worldwide sensation. (For those of you wondering: it was Debbie Gibson’s “Electric Youth.” I had some sweet, sweet choreography.)
From his spot on synchin’ of Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” to his killer mimic of Foreigner’s “Jukebox Hero,” he made it socially acceptable once again for us to crank up our guilty pleasure song, grab the hairbrush microphone, and come out of our lip synch closets.
Mr. Fallon should also be credited for exposing the world to Emma Stone’s mad rap synch skillz. (That’s right, spelled with a z because she was that hard core!)
Move Over, Cranium
Looking for party ideas? Tired of the old Jenga? Can’t handle another round of the 1st edition of Trivial Pursuit? Closet getting too cramped for Seven Minutes in Heaven?
Consider The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon your Pinterest account come to life. (Minus your private page of secret pins of Justin Bieber photos. You know I’m right!)
One of the best segments on the show is when the host with the most and his guests play games that make you want to grab a few empty boxes, put random items in them, and have your own Box of Lies.
Have a clear beach ball and an IPhone with a slow motion camera setting? Get ready for Face Balls. Have you always thought, What am I going to do with oversized red Solo cups, enormous ping pong balls, and all this extra beer. Um, do you even need to watch the show to know you have the makings for an epic game of Giant Beer Pong?
One of my favorite Tonight Show games? Musical Impressions with Adam Lavine. Try not to sing along when the Maroon 5 frontman combines the high falsetto of Michael Jackson with Seasme Street’s theme song. It has also ruined all other renditions of “Old MacDonald” and “Muffin Man” for me.
Give Me a Fisher Price Beat!
Leave it to Jimmy and The Roots to add a few classroom instruments, cram into a dressing room, and in no time leave you a new appreciation for overplayed songs that typically have you wanting to rip out your car stereo.
If it wasn’t for their collaboration with Idina Menzel on “Let It Go,” my niece’s Frozen CD would be permanently iced. Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” magically loses some of its doucheness with the help of a kid’s tambourine and kazoo. (Not even my love of Jimmy Fallon can completely erase my disdain for that song.)
And to bring you back to your Tree Top juice box childhood, here’s the sweetest one.
He’s All About Slow Jammin’ the News
Why can’t NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams always be like this?
Take note, NPR! I would actually donate to your pledge drives if All Things Considered were put to a sweet 90s slow jam and voiced by that guy from Boyz II Men.
It’s Guy Love
Is there no sweeter bromance around than that of Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake?
From their “flashbacks” to summer Camp Winnipesaukee, to their most likely Common Core aligned “History of Rap,” J Squared (new nickname!) have a chemistry that Jay-Z and Beyonce only dream about in their diamond lined bed.
Let’s not forget that they became the voices of the new IPhone 6 ads this year. I’d like to think that it was because of their bromantic feelings for each other that people lined up for weeks to purchase a phone the size of Zack Morris’ early 90s cell.
Whether he’s slow jamming the news, writing his thank you notes, dancing in tight pants, or making us secretly wish he bring back “Bothered with Robert Pattinson,” Jimmy Fallon deserves this tip of my imaginary hat.
Oh, and he’s a dad again!
Do you love Jimmy Fallon as much as I do? Share the love in the comments!