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As 2014 comes to a close, I feel that it’s time for me to come clean:
I want Jennifer Lawrence to be one of my hetero life mates.
Okay, so what is a hetero life mate? According to Urban Dictionary, a hetero life mate is a best friend that is so close to you, that if that person was the opposite sex, you would marry her in a heartbeat.
So, (getting on bending knee and presenting Claire’s Outlander ring) Jennifer Lawrence, will you be my hetero life mate?
Yes, 2014 had a few tiny speed bumps for our Jen Jen. (Nicknames mean true friendship!) There was her breakup (again) with Nicholas Hoult. And then the photo scandal blew up, and she showed all of us that iCloud was just as secure as using 1234 as your debit card pin number.
Did my celebrity BFF hide her head into the shame sandbox? Hell to the freaking no. She fought back:
Every single thing that I tried to write made me cry or get angry. I started to write an apology, but I don’t have anything to say I’m sorry for. I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.
Take note, President Obama, you may want to hire Jennifer to tackle the Sony/The Interview/North Korea hacking issue. That ‘ish would be locked down!
Unlike most celebrities out there, Jennifer doesn’t have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+, MySpace, or Instant Messenger account. I’ve searched, trust me. But what we do have and know is priceless.
Here are just some reasons why Jennifer Lawrence should be your celebrity BFF. (Hands off! She’s mine!)
Supposedly, this little jab was directed towards Jared Leto for laughing at her non-face plant at the Oscars. Lesson learned: Don’t eff with Jen. The rings and earrings will come off regardless if it is on national television.
Plus, you know she would have your back in a split second just like a best friend should!
Is everyone just as excited to see this friendship shipping?
Even Taylor Swift approves of a Jennifer Lawrence friendship. Their friendship would break the internet. (Sorry, Kim Kardashian…Not really.)
Of course, this past year we saw the conscious coupling and uncoupling of Jennifer’s relationship with Chris Martin. There was barely even time to generate a name for the couple. (I proposed Martin’s Law.)
But the ultimate? Her rendition of “The Hanging Tree” from the Mockingjay Part 1 soundtrack.
Now, I’m slightly spoiled by all Twilight soundtracks, and wasn’t a huge fan of The Hunger Game soundtracks. But this track? It makes you want to start a revolution and march down the streets in protest.
Obviously led by Jennifer Lawrence with three fingers held high in the air.
While a majority of us were still wrapping gifts or even gift shopping on Christmas eve, or watching a group of children act out the Nativity Story at church (Does anyone else think a 5 year old playing the Virgin Mary is just a tad weird?!), Jennifer made a surprise visit to Kosair Children’s Hospital in her hometown of Louisville, Kentucky.
Now before you bash on it and rain on my friendship parade by saying, “Well, that was just a publicity opp,” know this: all photos and tweets were from hospital staff and patients, not her. And the kicker? She’s does this every single year without being asked.
And let us not forget that the media went crazy when she went to a University of Louisville basketball game and (insert gasp) ate pizza.
And you know when she goes back home, she’s all about the Southern comfort food and doesn’t give a shite who sees. Pass the girl some carbs and gluten, please.
For me, a majority of Jennifer’s funniest moments did not happen on the big screen but rather the press junkets. Yes, some of her answers can come out rather dry and/or sarcastic, but how would feel if people asked you over and over again your team affiliation: Peeta or Gale?
This is the girl who most likely will make you laugh so hard, you would do a spit take with your rose wine.
Who else could make me laugh harder than my fantasy spouse, Jimmy Fallon?
And to answer your inevitable question: No, I was not the person to scream out “Nine!” I would have screamed out, “I love you,” and it would have been directed to both people.
I dare you not to laugh once during this interview with costars and her fellow comedy troupe members Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth:
Someone has to make Liam laugh. He was engaged to Miley Cyrus for crying out loud.
So, here is my dream cast for the ultimate female comedy: Jennifer Lawrence, Sandra Bullock, Amy Poehler, Melissa McCarthy and Tina Fey. I don’t even care what the premise is. Just make this happen, Hollywood!
Who else could steal every scene she shared with Christian Bale in American Hustle? Or be taken seriously in X-Men: Days of Future Past while covered from head to toe in blue body paint, sporting yellow eyes and a hairstyle ala Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love” music video? Or hold her own in Mockingjay Part 2 against both Julianne Moore and Philip Seymour Hoffman (R.I.P.) in the same scene?
That’s right. Jennifer Lawrence can.
Whether she’s playing a mutant who looks like a walking advertisement for Windex, a 70s fingernail polish sniffing housewife, or the reluctant Mockingjay, Jennifer Lawrence has proven to be one of the best actress for this generation.
Don’t believe me?
Watch two scenes: the endings to both Catching Fire and Mockingjay Part 1, and tell me you don’t feel what she’s feeling. (Plus: she’s acting with just pure facial expression!)
Get my BFF another Oscar! Oh, and Jen, watch your step.
Do you love Jennifer Lawrence as much as we do? Show JLaw some girl crush love in the comments!