So, here we are. The final four of the Stanley Cup Playoffs to decide the winners of the Prince of Wales trophy and the Campbell Bowl and thus which two teams will face off in the Stanley Cup Finals. If that means nothing to you, then just enjoy these pretty men with their hipster playoff beards…
Campbell Bowl Contenders:
Los Angeles Kings
Get back to L.A. Live, but not for a movie premier you’re camping out for days in advance. No, no, this time you’re across the way at the home of the Los Angeles Kings, the Staples Center (yes, that place full of rude boys who make fun of you during the Twilight fan camp). Did you know that Alyssa Milano is a long time Kings fan? She was inspired by her hardcore fandom of the team and lack of form fitting female sports attire that she went ahead and launched a female-specific sports fan clothing line. It’s now for all sports, so you don’t need to like hockey to benefit.
Anyway, the most headline heavy player for the Kings doesn’t make the hot guys of hockey cut, but is worth mentioning so you know which player to use for your “I know tons about hockey because I’m awesome” pick-up line at Buffalo Wild Wings. That man is Anze Kopitar. Another fun fact on Kopitar before we jump into picspam: He is one of three players nominated for the Selke trophy this year, which is awarded “to the forward who best excels in the defensive aspects of the game.” Don’t say I didn’t help you score free drinks from a cute Kings fan at the bar!
Jeff Carter
We’ve talked about him before, but Jeff Carter is worth mentioning again because he is essentially a Ken Doll in life form, except I bet his manbits are not a hard plastic nub. Did anyone else growing up not understand why Mattel did that? I was always annoyed by lack of realism in my Barbie collection. Anyway, onto the blonde Canadian beauty…
Jarret Stoll
Not to be confused with the weird Stoll brothers fan fiction I kept finding during my google search (Percy Jackson or something? #NoThanks), Jarret Stoll is a smoldering man of tall, dark and handsome. BONUS: He is/was dating Erin Andrews (based on my casual research, aka google image search only). Hold onto your ovaries and prepare to be smoldered. Stolldered? (no, just no — but maybe?)
Marian Gaborik
New addition to the team at the trade deadline this year, Marian has come out swinging and put up some critical numbers for the Kings in this post-season. Check the Slovakian man out in his new throne and with his playoff beard. Yum!
Chicago Blackhawks
So… full disclosure: I live in a Bruins household (but am actually a Penguins fan myself, I just care way less than other household members who live and breathe hockey), and if you aren’t in the know, last year the Blackhawks beat the Bruins in the Stanley Cup Finals. So, it’s hard for me to talk up this team for you at all.
Instead, I’ll mention the two players that I’m not including here but I know everyone will say, “Hey now, where’s he?!!” Those of course are Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews. I’ll admit that Toews wavered on the list but I decided that we mention him enough so let’s give another Blackhawk a chance to shine! Kane still has a mullet and therefore I’m not going to entertain that at all. BUT, for you casual viewers, if you want to look smart in front of Blackhawks fans, you should know that Kane and Toews are core players on Chicago (Toews is the captain. Oh and his name is pronounced ‘taves’ not ‘tows’ just fyi for your sports bar conversations).
Patrick Sharp
Also a key player for the Blackhawks, Sharp is so incredibly sexy to me that I actually am still getting butterflies in my stomach posting photos of him. He is just beautiful. I am not normally this into jaw porn and Finnish-blue eyes (on a Canadian no less!), but holy shit you guys. Sharp is exactly the right name to describe this man.
Brent Seabrook
This defenseman isn’t our typical go-to, but I like to keep it varied for all tastes. Some people like dark, straight locks to run their fingers through, and that’s okay, we support that here on TN. I like Brent’s smile and eyes and hate what a hard hitter he is. But who can not think this pic with his baby is adorable? No one, because it is adorable—and I don’t even like babies.
Duncan Keith
Ignoring his extreme tooth loss last year (no really), let’s focus on what makes Duncan so hot. Two words: Ginger Beard. Sure he’s an intense defenseman and excellent team leader, but dude also has got some sexy stubble. It’s almost Xabi Alonso good, and that’s saying something.
I am a sucker for cute dogs, so in finding the above photo of Duncan, I ended up down an internet rabbit hole at another Chicago player’s foundation site for pit bulls. I had to share this photo too, because omg so much cuteness! The pittie pics are for a calendar to raise money for the foundation. I know what calendar I’m getting next year…
Prince of Wales Trophy Contenders
New York Rangers
Now, as a Pittsburgh Penguins fan, I really shouldn’t be okay with having to tee up the Rangers here, but they are totally the human interest story of the playoffs. It’s impossible to be annoyed with their win after learning about St. Louis (which you will in a moment). New York slipped through this playoffs because of the new format and while they did beat the top team of their division, in the old playoff format they would’ve been knocked out in round 1 by Montreal (don’t pretend like that wouldn’t have happened after watching the Lightning-Habs series). They definitely have talent on their team and a new coach, so it will be interesting to see how they come out against Montreal for the Eastern Conference finals.
You guys will quickly note that Henrik Lundqvist–the Swedish beauty–is missing from my lineup. This is because we have already featured him so many times that I wanted to give the other Rangers their time to shine! Honorable mention also goes to Benoit Pouliot.
Martin St. Louis
This salt n pepper bearded man is a leader for the Rangers and is even more inspiring to his team this post-season after returning to play in Game 5 of the previous series the day after his mother passed away unexpectedly. St. Louis’ team has grown closer and rallied around him during this time. I chose St. Louis before this happened, because he’s a beautiful man, but his reaction to all of this makes me like him even more. (Ok, I’m actually getting too sad to write any more, so I’m heading into the photos now).
Brian Boyle
Fun fact time! Boyle is getting married this June and my husband’s old coworker is the Maid of Honor! This means I 3rd degree know Brian Boyle, right? When he gives his mischievous smile, it feels like I 1st degree know him. Unf.
Yes, actually, we do wanna film that.
Carl Hagelin
This Swede in his mid-twenties represents everything you’d expect in a Swedish man… straight blond hair, striking blue eyes, and mad hockey skills. Oh, and that body:
He may not have the Jag vet inte vad of Henrik Lundqvist, but I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers…
Montreal Canadiens
Wow, okay, this one is hard to write. I am still angry at Montreal for holding, diving, interference, DIVING, and all the BS they do and get away with. When your team goes on the power play all the time, it doesn’t mean everyone else in the league fouls you, it means you DRAW PENALTIES. Hrmph. They play like Liverpool and get the benefit of the doubt that Chelsea gets. (grumble grumble) Feel free to disagree. I’ll always hate the Habs.
THAT SAID! I am being extremely objective and even including PK Subban in my hot men list. Just call me a true journalist, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to do this. I will say that it’s nice to still get to hear O Canada in the playoffs because it’s the best national anthem ever. Plus it’s Canada’s first time to round 3 since 2011! Wow. And the team isn’t Vancouver who very few Canadians actually cheer for… and it’s two Original Six teams pitted against each other. There’s a lot going on here, guys! If Montreal doesn’t demolish New York, then this might be a really exciting series. So let’s focus on the sexy Canadiens and get you ready for Hockey Night In Canada!
Brandon Prust
This 30 year old forward hails from London… Ontario that is. People love him for his shooting, but I think his tall stance, full lips, and smolder eyes do a good job, too.
P.K. Subban
So, you should know that Bruins’ fans HATE P.K. Subban for how he acts on the ice (read: diving and fighting; don’t worry, Montreal fans hate Bruins’ Zdeno Chara this way as well. It’s a pretty old rivalry between these two teams, like 90 years old), so I have that influence resting on me and it alters my perception of the guy and his dashing smile (omg so dashing!).
The problem with hating P.K. is that he’s actually a super great guy. My husband works for the league (shh) and even though he personally despises Montreal, he has to admit that everyone who has ever encountered P.K. finds him to be fantastic to work with. He gives solid sound bites, is really down to earth, and is a consummate professional. You can’t ask for more from an athlete as a sports journalist, really, but add to that P.K.’s talent and you see the full package. Habs fans loooove P.K., so if you want to be cool in the Montreal bar, you should definitely cheer specifically for him. And when you see him scoring a lot, just remember that he’s a defencemen.
I did my own research and found that his excellent character stems directly from his awesome parents, in particular his dad who is super committed to all five of his kids’ success. Sure P.K. has a habit of punching players as he checks them (and getting away with it all the time), but off the ice he’s really a solidly nice guy who is actually making a positive difference in the world. So, I can’t actually hate P.K. Especially not with his smile, omg his smile. It just electrifies the room. I can’t even. Mmmm. Also he has this paisley tie that I just can’t get over. Crap. I think I’ve developed a proper crush on this guy and cannot talk about it in front of my husband cuz he’s such a diehard Bruins’ fan (usually I like to taunt him with my crushes).
Also I had to throw in this photo of wee P.K. because it’s so adorable I couldn’t not. Also, I’m linking to this one because people go on Ugly Suit Trips? I need to be friends with these people. (clearly crushing at this point)
Carey Price
Our final guy and first goalie of the lineup is none other than the adorkable Carey Price. While he looks a little like Enrique Iglesias at times, he actually hails from British Columbia, and is not just a hockey player, but a cowboy, too. For real. Closeup on the belt buckle here.
So, there you have it! You should well prepared to cheer on your team of choosing for this round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Games started this weekend and will last throughout the week, so be sure to check it out if you need some eye candy and testosterone!
If you’re actually a hockey fan, share your predictions on who you think will win! I’m guessing Chicago wins it all, but we will see how LA turns up to this series. They’re a good playoff team. The Rangers are hard and heavy right now, and they have everything to play for, but I don’t know if they can beat the west.
